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Techrights
Posted by Roy Schestowitz on May 03, 2024
> GNOME bluefish
> Seeing this video show up in my recommendations was kind of surreal because it's a weird thing to do, and it's also exactly something I did maybe five years ago. Lauren has some interesting things to say about music addiction and what it was like to "get clean," and I encourage you to watch it if you're interested.
> I think it's pretty clear that many people are addicted to music. On the bus, at the gym, walking around in public, you might have a hard time finding people who don't have headphones plugged in, listening to anything other than the dull roar or modern industrial life. Without it, we often get irritable. We feel uncomfortable with silence.
> last few weeks it has been raining generously, to the point that for the most part you haven't really been able to see much of the landscape through the mist and the rain curtains. this evening the sun has begun to peer timidly from behind multiple tears in the broken clouds.
> and well- wow. I don't think I had seen anything like this in well over 2 (3?) years. the trees are green and exuberant and flamboyant and- well the foliage and greenery in general. like in that dream I wrote about. profuse, lavish, pompous; green, overwhelmingly green. I would say they looked like they do in the pictures on the internet, if it weren't because the narrow colorspace of the display devices I own couldn't possibly hope to adequately recreate their ruthlessly green color.
> A lot has happened since my last post in December. I've just realized that this is my first post for 2024! That was not supposed to happen! On my last update I had stated that I was taking a break to focus on studying for the Amateur Extra Class license exam. I'm proud to announce that I successfully passed the exam on Jan 20, 2024! 1 Month of dedicated studying paid off. On February 09, 2024 I was issued my new Extra Class 1x2 vanity call sign. Not quite the one I wanted since it didn't match my region but a good one nonetheless. The next focus will be on learning and becoming proficient in CW (Morse Code).
> I did say I would take a bit of a break but this gemlog is actually the perfect excuse for a dreamlog.
> I have been off melatonin for 2 days now. I had a surprisingly melancholic dream tonight. S was there. he drove by me in a car (red, I think?), stopped, and asked whether I wanted a lift. I politely accepted and he drove me on down canyon st. there was the same sense of mystical admiration I had for S as a kid. yeah it was one of those "back in time" dreams, but only sort of. I am fairly certain I was the modern day ashley in the dream.
> it feels like I got so much to say but then I just... don't? now the frustration is accompanied by a feeling of overwhelming loss. this was a solved problem! how did I let this happen? it's literally worse than before I started, when I was entirely locked in. being born blind vs. becoming blind after seeing kinda thing.
> they say night is darkest before dawn. but so is day brightest before dusk. well that's not literally true, but neither is the former. but day and night go on regardless, at the other end of the line.
> I gaze into the eyes of human, but their retina grins back unphased. I see their face -- perhaps once fair, now disfigured by indifference. my indifference, that is, not theirs. I can't hope to fathom their difference, or lack thereof. I see their face as through a window clouded by my breath. they look back but I can't see their stare. I'm not entirely sure they can see me, frankly. is it not in the folly of my indifference that I scream against the glass? but it only gets further clouded. but you are heard, at the other end of the line.
> words cannot describe how I feel right now. there is good in the world after all.
> I hate work. I find it extremely hard to do the things I love, let alone the things I hate. I can't work in something I love because I hate work by definition. I also hate most things work is about. when I want to do things I love I end up doing things I hate instead. but not work. certainly not work. if work were about those things I unintentionally do, I would find a way to sublimate my inability to do the things I love elsewhere, which would preclude the work.
> Last night I retained some self awareness as I was slowly falling asleep. I could introspect myself drifting into the concept soup that, maybe, is making up dreams. So I took notes of what caught my attention.
> I just wanted to show you this. This is what a good roguelike looks. None of that "choose your reward" BS, all of that "your super niche case changes the rules of the game" BS.
> If you wonder how I got there, I was sleepy and misclicked when imbuing a wand.
> For now, I don't recommand it though. Maybe at some point it will reach 100% redrop chance, then I can use it as a "any seed effect" wand?
> so since the last post three days ago i did indeed create a hand painted, mixed media, majors-only tarot deck for my partner! success! i've done many little things aside from that, but focusing on that One Thing freed up enough brain space to get unstuck and just start doing things.
> I started using Diaspora* on 2016 and I continued to use until 2022 (I guess) when my account was closed by inactivity. I recently opened a new account because I am generally unsatisfied with the kind of interaction Mastodon offers.
> Diaspora* is a social media platform built on easy of use and focused on privacy (with its on limitation though), perhaps well known a bunch of years ago, but today it is almost forgotten.
> Over the years, I have collected many ideas for my personal projects and noted them down. I am currently in the process of cleaning up all my notes and reviewing those ideas. I don’t have time for the ones listed here and won’t have any soon due to other commitments and personal projects. So, in order to "get rid of them" from my notes folder, I decided to simply put them in this blog post so that those ideas don't get lost. Maybe I will pick up one or another idea someday in the future, but for now, they are all put on ice in favor of other personal projects or family time.
> Seneca, Roman philosopher and statesman, stands as a titan of Stoicism. His "Letters to Lucilius" remain a cornerstone of the philosophy, offering practical wisdom for navigating life's challenges with reason and virtue, and they have always held a special place on my bookshelf. However, Seneca's life presents a fascinating paradox, one that resonates deeply in our current age of information overload.
> I needed to take an oddly-timed midnight constitutional. I didn’t feel like retvrning to the 80s by taking in an L. L. Bean catalog, so I took my phone with me like I pretty much always do.
> I’m not much of a social-media guy, so I find things to do that don’t involve reading others’ posts. My current task is to go into my journal app and make corrections. Previously, on a real computer, I had corrected a bunch of wrongly-geotagged entries. I ended up needing to do this because if you commit an entry before you get a good GPS lock innawoods, you run the risk of committing a location that’s miles away from where you are.
> if you're reading this, it's prolly because I submitted this post to antenna. up until this point I have more or less intentionally not linked this capsule anywhere. I'm not entirely sure why I even write this stuff honestly. I'm not even entirely sure why I am about to call a bunch of attention upon myself, no less with a capsule this full of Very Questionable Content.
> There’s the nagging feeling that I should cross-post from my Fediverse account, because automatism. But I didn’t like this idea in, let’s check, 2013, and I don’t like it now. I will just link to the post, in which I published those thoughts, which are in German, because I was too lazy to translate it then, and I’m sure too lazy to translate it now. Users of Lagrange can use the translation feature, which in this case produces some chuckles, but works quite well overall.
> I have quite a bit of trouble remembering what’s ascending and what’s descending.
Gemini (Primer) links can be opened using Gemini software. It's like the World Wide Web but a lot lighter.
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