shot of whiskey, if you got it.

if there was something i wish i had learned sooner, it's to stop giving a fuck what other people think about me.

it's not even necessarily that i treat anyone badly or want to. i want to be at peace in life and in my relationships with other folks who are at peace or striving toward peace with themselves and others. i want to help others learn new things and maybe look at the world a different way. i want to be joyful and help others be joyful, too.

but even here, i am explaining myself to you—instead of creating, instead of doing. it's my constant analysis of how others perceive me, how others think of me, that hinders my ability to actually do. i care about people. i care about you, reading this now; i wish you only the best in your life and that you find peace, too.

do i have to care about what you think, though? i wonder if it looks like a smile to a backhanded compliment or a subtle scoff and a journal entry later; if it's external only or if internally, it's okay—it's just you.

so is it a decision you make, to stop giving a fuck? or do you eventually just stop thinking about what other people might be thinking? what exactly is the process in which you stop giving a fuck? do you just say "fuck you" to everyone, or do you just dismiss what everyone says, losing for respect for any poor soul who dares comment on any aspect of your life that you express?

in trying to analyze the analysis of my fuck giving, the irony is not lost on me that i could just, you know,

stop giving a fuck.

pour another?