THE WOLF’S DEN

Ah, wel-come...traveller.

I see you’ve come across my den.

Here, let me set these delectable deer bones to the side and I’ll tell you my story.

Hold on...damn these claws make it hard to type on this laptop I nabbed from an unsuspecting hiker.

Don’t worry, jeez, I didn’t hurt him. I just nipped at his heels until he ran screaming to the ranger station. Guy shoulda knew better than to go hiking with a laptop and a cooler full of porkchops into the back-country.

Not my fault.

Anyways, I digress.

I am just a simple wolf that lives in the woods. For generations my pack has roamed these wilds without fear of encroachment or repraisel by the man-apes. However, now that man’s greed has developed *ahem* a WOLFISH, ravenous hunger for wealth and extracting resources from the planet, me and my kind and all those cute widdle creatures we depend on are on the brink of annihilation. It’s a sad state of affairs.

You ask why am I here? Well, I want to show you a better, more sustainable way to live. A path to truly being one with your wild side. Embracing that free-roaming WOLF within you. So, as the rangers are sleeping I will utilize their wifi to impart my wolvish knowledge to you. In return I just ask that you tell more backpacker to pack tasty porkchops with their gear...and maybe an extra laptop battery.

My tip for today?

Well, this may seem hypocritical coming from a wolf on a laptop, but sometimes you just have to unplug for a day. Take a day off is all. It’s not hard. Hell, besides playing solitaire for a few hours here and there I rarely break the thing out until now. I know humans are more...what is it called...”plugged in” then we wolves, but I would suggest finding a day that works for you and just shutting everything down. No computer, no tv, no electronics of any kind, minimal use of your phone (important calls/text only) and just GET OUTSIDE! Feel the air on your skin, the grass under your feet, the feel of the wind through your mane...er, hair.

BE AN ANIMAL FOR A DAY!!

Oh, shit. I think the ranger is waking up…

Okay, well that’s enough for me today.

It’s been a pleasure to meet your aquaintance. I hope you’ll join me again.

You can call me:

Kuruk – The Wolf in the Woods

P.S. I’ve been working on my creative writing skills lately since I got this laptop. This is something I discovered called “stream of consciousness writing”, this is my first piece. I hope you enjoy it…

A MOOSE KING!

>The once and future king was kind of an asshole one time he went to nantucket and bought some cherries but didn’t pay the vendor and intead chopped off his head, the whole village was terrified and then the king cried for he had a heart but he was also a big fucking manchild who didn’t care if his actions were vile in the moment and then one day an old woman approached the king and turned him into a moose the king loved trapiseing around the country side going MOO! (even though that is not the sound mooses make, the king was also quite stupid) and then when he met a squirrel they fell in love and moved to a tiny cottage in the coutry and raised their squoose babies

the end