The Denial of Death - Ernest Becker

Back

It's a very emotional book to read, I stopped multiple times because I had to take a break. It confronts you with the existential nature of life, unveiling cultural and personal illusions, making you doubt certain ideas you held dear. I became aware of this book after reading David Loy: Lack & transcendence: the problem of death and life in psychotherapy, existentialism, and Buddhism. It's another great book and it mentions Becker's multiple times so here we are.

Talks about the concept of a Hero System. The system is a glorified narrative for people to participate in and give meaning to their lives. The system includes a goal, ways of achieving that goal, hierarchy or a way to compare people trying to achieve the goals. An example could be the capitalist system where the goal is to achieve more money and the hierarchy is based on status related to money, power and fame. Every society builds its own hero system which is symbolic by nature and also sort of theistic. It gives us meaning as we all climb inside it.

One of the authors he mentions numerous times is Otto Rank. He was a member in Freud's circle. Should put him in my reading list.

In today's hero system (book was published in 1974) narcissism is prominent. Today's generation is less receptive to hero systems from previous generations; it means the value of communities, old custom, narratives and ceremonies is decreasing and less appreciated today.

Death fear has a biological motive: self preservation. It means it's basic and universal. Some other schools of thought believe that death fear is learnt from the parents when growing up or it's a social construct, based on the society you live in. Of course he doesn't subscribe to these views.

What is the human being core? What is his essence? Erich Fromm said Man is half animal and half symbol. It's a paradox. Becoming aware of the paradox start at early childhood. The child is becoming aware of two worlds: the physical one and a symbolic one. Both worlds frustrate the child. In the physical world he's small, weak, everyone else are huge, he can't do anything by himself. The symbolic world - the world of meaning - is a mystery to him.

The next episode is focused on Norman Brown who published new interpretations to Freud's writings. For some of Freud's concepts and complexes Brown gives a different interpretation, related to the fear of death. Oedipus complex is claimed to be a life project started by the child in the form of narcissism; the child wants to BE in the world, have an active role, independent, be the creator of himself, thus be the parent of himself. The sexual part is subservient. The child tries to rule his world, first by ruling or controlling his own body - what's called the anal stage. Then he moves to try and control the world; of course no one can control the world. He is left with a set of mechanical responses to external events which people will call "character".

Where do character come from? Why do some people are brave and some of them are not? Where do human fear come from? One possibility is that Man does not feel he has an authority to act in the world; every idea and concept he has come from the outside, not from within him. It connects to the notion of the alienation feelings a child first have with respect to his body. We also may feel a detachment between us and the feelings, ideas and concepts we have in our mind. Where did they come from? Are they truly ours?

We are stuck between a fear of living and a fear of dying. The former starts early in life while the latter comes later. How to live life without fear is the question, but it seems no one has the answer.

In the next chapter, he analyses Freud's life to see how the fear of death might have influenced him. Freud's life project is the psychoanalytical movement which he fathered. A discussion about group psychology: why do people follow authority? The claim is that transference plays an important role in everyday life, outside psychoanalysis sessions. Transference stems from a deep will to follow someone else who is strong and knows what is right. In transference, the patient turns the therapist to his world center. Another example is hypnosis. We all are susceptible to transference, we can't fight it rationally. A group allows us to follow our hidden desires and urges by absorbing the shared guilt, redefining morality for the group, to serve his needs. Transference helps us to define a meaning, being able to do the "right" thing.

Next chapter is about culture. We had religion for a long period of time, but it grew weaker in the last few hundreds of years. What kind of replacements do we have for religion, helping us define meaning, ethics and hierarchy? One such solution is Love. Instead of the world, city, town, village or community, we find another human being to be OUR world. Our partner is a God. When he accepts us as we are it absolves us. But he is no god and has flaws just like us. Here is a nice citation:

> If you don't have a God in heaven, an invisible dimension that justifies the visible one, then you take what is nearest at hand and work out your problems on that.

Next chapter is about neuroses. They are a form of regression, where we limit the scope of the world we're exposed to in order to be able to function. When regression works, it means we behave normally by functioning in some appropriate way. We explicitly restrict aspects of our reality in order to be able to function instead of bogging down with anxieties. He claims neuroses are on the rise today mainly because we have less hero journeys to participate in. Today we've become hyper-conscious to these narratives and are not "buying into" them. Psychology tries to help people with these existential questions but it focuses mainly on the Man and not so much on his part in the world. Psychoanalysis makes Man analyse himself, thus exacerbating the problem; there are no solutions inside. In that sense psychology is like a religion where God is the transference phenomenon.

People turn to psychology to find flaws in themselves. He believes psychology will evolve into some sort of a religion; he mentions how people start to add mystical elements to psychology-based movements as an indication of his claim. Psychology offers self improvement using the tool of self knowledge. However, it could cause more harm than good because it unveils the regression we use to keep a state of normalcy.

His last remark:

> The most that any one of us can seem to do is to fashion something - an object or ourselves - and drop it into the confusion, make an offering of it, so to speak, to the life force.

Thank you for reading! If you have any comments or questions, please reach me at my @email.