I miss code

I think I need to find something new to do.

I started my career as a software developer because I love software and computers. I love building things. I love solving problems. I love the creativity of it. I love building things that people use. I love happy customers.

As my employer grew, I went along for the ride and took a position as Product Manager mostly because I had strong opinions for the product and wanted to be able to guide it. At the time through, we were still a small company and I was still heavily involve in the day-to-day development. This mix was perfect for me ad our product did phenomenally well.

When we were acquired, for the first time, my role changed so that I did very little development in my day-to-day. Instead, I was supporting the new much larger organization as they learned how to sell and support our product. Any development I did was me sneaking in some bonus features on the weekend.

We've been acquired again. The company is now huge, and my product is just one of 40 or so. The new company has a strict line between Product Management (which they consider a marketing function) and Development such that my involvement is mostly limited to writing specifications. We're also VC backed and our focus is on revenue rather than making a kick-ass product and ensuring our clients feel loved (call me naive, but I think the latter is a better approach to building lasting revenue).

I'm honestly not sure I want to be part of this.

I think I'm small company material. I miss being part of a small company.

I don't mind putting in long hours, but I want (need) to know the work I'm doing matters.

I like the fun of building something new and having fun doing it. I want whiteboards, creativity, excitement and animated conversations. I can't stand boring planning meetings, strict process, sloth-like-paces and status reports.

I want to build products that clients love using. I don't want to have conversations trying to gentle skirt around "we aren't going to fix that because we don't think it will create any up-sell opportunities, nor do we think you'll leave us over this." Bleh.

The idea of moving on is scary. I have been at this place for a LONG time. I love many of the people I work with. I love my product. I love my clients and the relationships I've formed with them over the years. Because of the length of my tenure I have an above industry norm salary and vacation allotment. But I'm not having fun. I'm no longer proud of the work I do.

What scares me is that maybe I'm not going to find something better. Maybe I just need to relax. Make the most of what I have, and then find ways to get the technical fix that I require (join an open source project, for example).

Anyways. Just some thoughts. I'm not sure what I'm going to do.

Happy to chat with anyone in a similar position or with similar experiences. Feel free to reach out :)

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