2019-07-03 two-way mirror

Note: This one requires a bit of context. I had to write a poem as a school assignment, I think reflecting on the past year. I had to transfer to a different school because of my mental issues and I slowly began entering Recovery Mode. The part with the quotation marks is a reference to when I started EMDR.

It's weird because now that I think about it, I'm not sure if I had gone through the breakup yet or not. I seem pretty optimistic so like... I must have been, right? Hmm.

danger, come quick! we might be sick!

call an angel to come over

save us both with her tricks

stuck in this hole, can we unroll

the memories of the past

and smooth out my wrinkled soul?

wings are intact; wrinkled, in fact

lost the vision of the future,

stuck looking back at the past

mindfulness tea, eyes split to three

im growing dizzy, blurring vision,

nothing left i can see

ill care, and hold out for anything

just save me from this den of sin, undo

summer came close,

took me away from an oasis

brain is exposed,

and losing that sleep makes me fade away

so as it goes,

the numbers run out and im free to breathe

saved by a rose,

finally time opens up for the last train home

reading again, eyes a bit strained,

i learn to function again

all of these headaches explained

time is such stress, world still a mess,

the feeling leaves but still returns

takes toll just to regress

what is a must, teeth ground to dust

these eyes are burning no more

the third has grown bits of rust

i care, i'll hold out for anything

i'm safe? is this home free from sin?

art is a blessing, bury me in it

glass full or missing?

i'll savor it, redo

wave flag of truce,

eyes once shut tight are now wide again

words to deduce,

i will try to let loose and will drift away

blissful recluse,

the whispering air leads her home again

color of spruce,

her bright eyes bringing way to the light and love

"oh, sweet little angel, have you not lost your way?

can my wings hold you tighter? are yours lost in the bay?"

i begin to awaken, as she starts to pray

"i would love nothing more than to bask in this day"

i barely could stand being lost in that land

she steadies my hand and it goes just as planned

as soon as i'm living, i am used up again

just as soon as i'm broken, i am free once again

with this knowledge held tight, and this blood in my veins

i can finally move further from the place i was slain

my anger is buried, yet i savor the pain

against all the odds, from fate i am unchained

the love of my craft brings me back to the past

the color returns and i'm free, free at last

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