Some thoughts before the year ends

I thought it was a good idea to check on this place before the end of the year. One of the good things about this place is that I don't feel compelled to be present and share more than I can or would like to. I appreciate this immensely.

I quit almost all of social media, keeping a few of them just for practical reasons - like checking the opening and closing times of the nearby park. But still some of them trick me, like this "Boo" app. It was supposed to be a dating app especially designed for introverts; I've met no one in six months since I've been there, and used it mostly as a social media. I'm already tired of it but still I cannot help myself checking the timeline a few times a day at least: I deal out some likes here and there, I attempt an answer, giving up almost instantly as I discover myself still hooked on this silly game of clashing opinions *just because* and I get overly disgusted about it.

My health has been rather poor this year. Even recently I had something to care about. "It's because you're too anxious about anything", they say. So what? I should be stupid not to be, given the present state of things in my life and in the world. They are right, of course. But I cannot do anything more than relax the pace and not force myself into doing or thinking anything in my free time. The entertainment industry and the consumeristic-capitalistic society has forced us this image of human beings as productive machines, which they're clearly not. We need time to do silly and beautiful things; time to get bored; time to do something at all. There is a time for everything, and everything has its right time. When you do something at its right time it will go smooth and easily succeed; forcing times will not achieve the same result.

I watched some videos about the Roberto Benigni's speech upon receiving his Oscar for "La vita è bella". I'm usually of a gloomy, dark mood, so his exuberance, his enthusiasm was like a balm on my soul. Suddenly, without even noticing, I found myself watching interviews, snippets of the movie, reactions and so on. I realized it's not a movie about the Holocaust - that is just the setting. It's about the redeeming power of love, devotion, care, imagination, creativity, hope, faith in the good powers of the universe. And now I'm filled with admiration and gratitude for Roberto and his wife, who created such a great movie.

It also reminds me of those times, when my grandparents were young. It reminds me of the times when I was a child and the Internet and smartphones were not around yet. I've been increasingly dissatisfied with technology recently. Actually, I should say that I almost despise it, even though I recognize the good things that has brought into my life. To be true, the Internet per se was great and it still is; but the extreme commercialization of it and the introduction of smartphones has ruined it. I bought a small dab radio. In these long winter evenings I like to just turn on my favorite classical station and listen to it, while sitting in the dark. So peaceful. So great to be alone, with nothing but music. So good not to have to rely on my phone for everything.

~~~

December 21st, 2023

Tags: social media, internet, cinema, life