From an email to C:

I have been thinking a lot about the connection between recommendation engines and my relationship with S. Last night, my phone autocorrected the name cimillo to s**** (S's last name) and something clicked for me. So many bits and pieces of my friend are still stored forever on the web.

After S died, I listed to her Spotify playlists for hours on end. Once I stopped, I began to notice that her tastes were bleeding into my song recommendations. It provided a lot of comfort-- as if S were alive and showing me new music. Even after 2 years, her tastes are still reflected in my playlists. In some ways, the Spotify algorithm knows her more intimately than I ever knew her (and in those ways it is keeping her alive).

In any case, I see a little bit of irony in my recent foray into the small web. I keep thinking about how interested S would have been in the things I am discovering. In some sense, by separating myself from the algorithms that manipulate my life, I will be honoring her. But, in another sense, I will also be turning my back on her (at least the parts of her that are still owned by social media giants).