Scrub all the fuzz off with lye

Topics: absurdity, shambal

2016-02-03

A message to Christian earlier today, recorded for my own amusement in the distant future:

That being said (and what it was will be lost in time, like peacocks in the rain), I believe that doing laundry during the night is the correct moment to accomplish such an important task.

1. It allows you to prance around with an exposed, lye-caked penis as you do calisthenics in the neighbourhood.

2. It provides a time for *zen-rapture* as you stare at whorling linens whilst baked on quaaludes.

3. It earns you the respect of your landlord's teenage daughter, who secretly wants you to scour her orifices with your raw, lye-mottled penis.

4. No shaving (the most boring process known to mustelidkind) is necessary.

5. There is no five.

6. Every time one of your pieces of linen is sufficiently clean, one member of any of the number of marching bands practising for the Easter parade in Logroño explodes into a shower of gore.

7. You grow an additional nipple on your left buttock.

tzifur (Martenblog home)

jenju (Thurk.Org home)

@flavigula@sonomu.club

CC BY-NC-SA 4.0