Correspondence with Christopher Part III

Topics: solitude, stagnation

2011-09-15

Christopher wrote:

> It will be nice for you to spend the time there, I imagine. Do you associate with anyone else while you are there? I find myself quite isolated here, which is a drag. I have Anne of course, which is great...I would be lost without her, but it would be good to have others I can relate to. My coworkers are aliens to me. Or I suppose I am the alien...

He's speaking of my time in Nova Scotia, of course. Had I been there alone, I surely would have associated with others more. I find myself in a bubble when somewhere with a *mate*. Not a friend, but a *mate*. I can otherwise be very outgoing, and as Loyal used to say, extroverted. I am interested in others and their outlooks.

The only one I communicated with regularly (besides **Henderson** and **Gretel**) with was Hope. She is insightful, compassionate and far too trusting. This negative aspect of her personality *goes with the territory*, I suppose.

And now, in Prague, I contrast my time now in this city with my time ten years prior (approximately) in the same city. I was swamped with relations. I recall that every evening was booked with a different friend, a different experience, and a new discovery. I was doused in bliss. Now, it is all isolation. *Renata* is the only person I have plans with (lunch tomorrow). I saw *Hynek* once last week.

I realize this is a sorry state of existence, approaching, slowly, vacuum-like.

We walked two nights ago around the Praha 13 community center and I longed to join the small throng there in the small acoustic concert they were attending. A wall stood between myself and the experience, however. I couldn't tear down this wall without ripping out one lung of my current life.

A can say the same about the Smaller One as Christopher says about Anne, and I wonder that the fact that we feel we'd be *lost* without them is actually a part of the wall which holds us away and aloof from the rest of our surroundings.

tzifur (Martenblog home)

jenju (Thurk.Org home)

@flavigula@sonomu.club

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