Time to Rethink Some Things

I think I'm kinda at junction in life. I recently got some mental health diagnoses that have really gotten me thinking about how I approach my mapping hobby. Specifically, I'm thinking that large projects like Eschatology, Umbra of Fate, or SoTNR are just a bit too much for me to handle anymore. Even if I do complete them, I'm left feeling incredibly drained and it takes me forever to recuperate. They just aren't fulfilling and I don't feel that they're a good fit for me or my mental issues.

So from here on out, for the foreseeable future, I think I'm mainly going to concentrate on individual maps. Things like my Freaky Panties series, or WMC, or my one-off maps like The Unending or Halls of The Goat Child. All of those have been _far_ more fun and rewarding to work on than any sort of large project. In a way it makes sense, too. If I consider the maxim "build what you want to play", then long huge projects aren't what I enjoy playing. What I enjoy playing are concise 10-25 minute maps, bite sizes pieces of gameplay and artistic expression that leave me satisfied yet unburdened by obligation. That's what I enjoy most playing when it comes to maps (Doom and Quake).

Eschatology, while not exactly the antithesis of all that, doesn't really align with what I enjoy. It's a large project with multiple levels, a hub, and a story that further extends my personal Doom cannon. It's not bite sized pieces, it's long and (potentially) never ending. To put it bluntly, it's not what I want to do. Buuuuuut... I still _like_ and am _happy_ Eschatology. Heck, I very proud of what I've done with it so far, as it's probably some of my best Doom work ever. It's just that it's turned into an odd dichotomy for me. So is there a way to reconcile this dichotomy? Well, I think there might be, actually.

Freaky Panties started off as a single one-off map. It was just an experiment, a short "let's see what I can do in one month's time" combined with an idea for how to do a dynamic difficulty system. Then came Freaky Panties 2, which had a similar theme (techbase), a short development time, and continued with experimentation (this time more backend/workflow stuff). Then I joined WMC and made Freaky Panties 3: Spooky Panties for WMC01: The Rising. Again, it was techbase + experimentation + short development time ("make a map compatible with both GZDoom and K8Vavoom" specifically). Now there's Freaky Panties IV, which will be released this month and continues with the trend of techbase + experimentation + short development time. It has, effectively, turned into a mapping series, and since they're all the exact kind of bite-sized concise maps that I enjoy, it's a mapping series that's been immensely fun and rewarding to build.

So... why not do the same with Eschatology? The levels are already "separate" in a sense. The way the game unfolds currently is just like in Arcane Dimensions, where you have a hub that you use to select any level in any order, and each one is a pistol start. It's basically a mapping series... digest? I guess? But with extra steps. So why not take out the extra steps and just turn it into an actual mapping series? I can still have its overarching backstory for flavor (slightly adjusted now so that it's less confusing; thanks to those who have given me feedback!). You can still play them in any order. I can still use all the same resources. But rather than it being inflexible, where I try to shoehorn it into some awkward idea of a "digest" of maps every year or so, it becomes more fluid.

So that's my plan. Eschatology as a mapping _series_, with individually released maps utilizing a common theme. They'll all feel and play similar (just like Freaky Panties tends to feel similar between maps), they fulfill my desire to create concise one-off maps, and it relieves the pressure of managing a huge Doom project.

And of course I'll continue to head up the WMC series :-P That has been *incredibly* fun, and has also been a wonderful learning experience since it's successfully brought me outside my comfort zone.

Side Note

On a technical side note, I think as far as my own levels go, K8 and Doomsday will be the ports I target anymore. I find them easiest to work with, and they have the features I want. And they deserve some love <3 So I'll likely be reworking some of my past stuff, like the first Freaky Panties, for K8 in the coming months as well.

Links!

The original Eschatology forum announcement

WMC01: The Rising

WMC02: Thy Flesh Vored

WMC03: Biophilia