< non-fatherhood

~inquiry

Wish I hadn't. Had no idea what I was doing, and wasn't with someone who could have helped/challenged me in a direction that might have ended well.

Instead, there's likely permanent disassociation, and given what I know (or is it believe?) about how stories develop unassisted by those closest to ground zero of what inspired them, I can't imagine the possibility of getting "back on track".

It's just over. And it's sad because I think I have the skills to communicate with sufficient nuance. But I've no faith in others willingness - let alone ableness - to dive deeply into what others actually mean, i.e. beyond one's own meanings/interpretations/biases.

And, of course, that lack of faith would likely doom any possibilities even if said willingness/ableness were present at the other end of the waxed string whose wax has mostly melted.

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