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Midnight Pub

Watch Out for Audiencr


It's been a while since I last got email from some pusbag who wants me to host their native advertising bullshit. These clowns never identify their client or how much they're willing to pay, but they expect me to be receptive to their pitches?

They're worse than tech recruiters, and I have no compunction when it comes to abusing them. They're lucky I don't quote Bill Hicks' advice to marketers, but they're in DIRE need of a suicide encouragement hotline.

Tonight's email comes from some asshole named Kristina who works for some UK outfit called Audiencr.

today's lucky winner

I mean, look at this piece of shit they call a website. These assholes can't even be bothered to get a SSL certificate from Lets Encrypt so they can be reached via HTTPS?

Bunch of unprofessional assclowns. Just look at this email I got tonight.

From: kristina@audiencr.com <kristina@audiencr.com>
To: Contact <contact@matthewgraybosch.com>
Subject: Advertising Options / Sponsored Content Options on matthewgraybosch.com
Date:Sunday, May 30, 2021 10:00 PM

Hi there,

We’re currently working on behalf of a major industry-leading client
trying to enhance their brand via editorial content.

Whilst looking for opportunities, we came across your website

Please let us know the pricing and options to place sponsored content
on your website.

We can provide you with a high-quality piece of content, fitting your
website audience. We’ll include citations and images, so as to make
the content naturally resonate with your readers.

Furthermore, if you are interested in publishing sponsored content on
websites/blogs owned by your company, please send us more details with the below info:

- Website URLs
- Pricing
- Linking restrictions (Nofollow etc)
- Any restrictions about the content or outgoing links

Let me know and we can get something started.

Best Regards,

Here's my reply.

Hello, Kristina. I don't believe for a moment that you bothered to
actually look at my website at https://matthewgraybosch.com, because
if you had you might have noticed the following:

1. The website consists of a single page.
2. The first paragraph is essentially an announcement that I no longer
actively blog at that site.
3. It's a bare-bones site designed to DETER your target audience.

I've seen spam from people like you before. You're trying to boost the
profile of some online casino that you don't even have the courage to
identify in your initial pitch, and you expect me to provide you a

You don't even have the guts to name your client, let alone the sense
to tell me how much you're gonna pay me to host your content? Let me
guess: you couldn't hack it as a tech recruiter so now you shill for
the sort of people who promote online casinos?

Neither of us are getting paid enough for this.

PS: I CC'ed your boss, because he too needs to know that I'm not here
for audiencr's bullshit. Why would I want sponsored content on a

PPS: I have also forward your email to report@phishing.gov.uk, just
for a laugh.

Yes, I know I'm wasting my time, but I'm dealing with a fair amount of rage right now and I don't have any scruples about bullying spammers.

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