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It started 2 days ago with some asshole bus driver "demanding" I wear a mask. In my state, if you have been fully vaccinated you don't need a mask. I told the jackass that I was fully vaccinated, he begins to talk down to me. I lost the plot and told him that I am a 52 year old woman and not 5 yr old to speak to me that way. He continues to spew shit, "then you can't come on my bus" once again I lost the plot and told him, "fuck you I go where I please and my health is the business of me and my doctor, not you or some burocrud so fuck you once again". I went to the gym so pissed off that I exercised like a maniac. I went home and it was peace in the valley
Yesterday it was not so much a bad day going to the gym as it was a bad day coming from the gym. I get on the bus and this time the bus driver was a nice guy, didn't care if I wore a mask or not, I didn't wear one and so the topic of conversation went around the previous confrontation with the prick bus driver. Well, out of nowhere some mask nazi came out of no where and started pointing a waging finger at me, what a terrible person I am, blah fucking blah. Once again I had to defend myself verbally against stupid people and their irrational covid fears. If someone is that terrified to be around people let them stay home and leave us "normal" folks alone. I told him to take a triple shot of that crack pipe he's smoking and to fuck off.
That kind of day continued where I got home. I reached home, angry as all fuck, all I wanted was some respite but that was not to come, I ate and went on Telegram, I was part of a group in which I share the same religion with, and what a clusterfuck it became. Most of us wanted to remain anonymous, a username, no photo, that type of thing, well someone chimed in first in implications that people like myself wished to be anonymous in the group we were cowards, again it set me off, I chimed in and called her a worse that a coward, I told her she was using her position to bully people and I was far too old to be bullied. I dropped that group and Telegram and resentment settled in like a fog, I went to sleep that way and I woke up that way.
Today was the day I broke down in tears, more bullshit over the masks, this time the fucking prick of a bus driver and his supervisor both laughed at me while I yelled in hysterics and I wanted to go home and stay home and never to deal with fucks like that, I am crying right now as I type this, I want the world to be swallowed by an enormous black hole. Resentment has reached its maximum.
One of the worse aspects of this pandemic that aren't directly derived from the virus is the constant psychological warfare to which we are being submitted. There's a constant avalanche of stimuli seeking our attention and reaction. When I've found myself in situations similar to yours, I have found helpful to bear in mind that the random guy throwing his aggression against me is under the same mind-destroying conditions as myself. That way, I can have some compassion.
I got vaccinated pretty early on, because of where I work, but I'm still wearing a mask in public places. The problem is that vaccination rates are still low enough (just passed 50% of adults in the US), and there's enough people who are both vaccine-avoidant and mask-avoidant that you just can't take people's words for it. I'm wearing a mask just to encourage people to keep wearing them, and to let them know it's still normal.
I *do* heavily identify with the experience of getting angry at someone/something during the day and having it ruin the rest of the day.
I'd rather just wear a mask. Don't want to waste any energy arguing with random NPCs I'll probably never meet again and forget the next day. But yeah, I do hate masks and I am vaccinated.
Some days it can feel like everything in the world is just going wrong.
Virtual hugs :(
Emotional turmoil is such a pain. I usually have to wait out the initial momentum before other things that could help center me will work. So I think I have an idea how you're feeling. I hope you feel better sooner than later. That stuff stings.
There are entirely too many self-righteous wastes of ammo who weren't bullied enough at school walking around without adequate supervision.
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