Have an A1 day

Jealous of everyone who missed out on the endless stream of utterly boring April Fools jokes on IRC which were boring me to tears. I was crying bone. 🩻

Good Friday used to be the boringest day of the year but now it’s April’s Fools Day. A day that’s an insult against comedy and taste. Every yawn-inducing bore-fest trite done-to-death over-templated clumsy cruel prank can go die in a sawmill.

“Yawn-inducing” is too charitable a word for these soul-grinding, suffocating, self-owning, sulphur-whiffed stunts, these pain-by-numbers pitiful parroted pratfalls.

“Lol [thing] is now about [opposite thing]”

“Lol we are gonna switch to discord”

“Lol I’m gonna quit my show”

“Lol I’m gonna kms”

Thank God for inventing time so it finally became April second in UTC. Every day, 364 days a year, when I wake up I thank the Lord the highest and the vinegar tasters and the imams and rabbis and the pebbles and trees that it’s not April first. And then once a year I wake up and I cry and cry and cry, because it’s the day when creativity gives way to cruelty, wit gives way to waste, taste gives way to testing my god-damned-patience with every lying little word that comes out of your mouths and keyboards.

I want to dedicate my life to poetry so I can, in the future, better express the full width of my unending hatred of not only this “holiday” but every single joker individually. For it burns with the temperature of four-hundred and ninety-three thousand, two-hundred and eighty suns.

My heartfelt thanks to all y’all who did not participate.