Constant

derating, degrading, berating

Highs and louds

stuck sounds in my mind

nightmare music

thoughts that scare, ablate

constant wishes of nothing

wishes that everything wasn't something

that I wasn't the witness

to many years, many

it's reintroduced through the heart

the heart is an open wound

susceptible to infection

making you unbearable, not yourself

killing every part of you

till you're almost dead inside

till everything affects

and nothing affects all at the same time

till you're left wondering

if all of this is worth it

if you should be here

--

you're brought back out

but only on the surface

you're trapped in a comforting darkness inside

never wishing to come out

until you're forced out

and the hurt repeats