The point of this gemlog is to help think about and express what I have trouble saying when I go to a meeting. It will be useful to sit down and actually think about what has been on my mind all week and put it to words in a few short paragraphs and read it outloud at a meeting at least once a week.

I plan on buying a server and domain as well. For now gemlog.blue will do. October 4th, 2021. One thousand and eight days sober according to the little red notebook I carry in my left front pocket everyday. Day 138 without antidepressants. Second night at a new apartment. A few months ago after moving to a different place I realized I needed to make some changes. I was unhappy. Things did not seem to be going well for me.

Previously I had lived at another place with different people, and things seemed to be going well. That went on for a whole year longer than I had expected, and I think I became too comfortable. I had stopped going to meetings on a regular basis. COVID complicated things, and it was also a too convenient excuse to stop pursuing my efforts in recovery. I was a daily drinker for nearly ten years, and for twenty years before that I was surrounded by drinking and drugs at home, school, and at work.

If I ever hope to change myself it may as well require ten years of breaking bad habits, changing my ways of thinking, and growing as an individual.