spouse is on a work trip. he took both the laptops, because what if there was something on the old laptop he didn't know he needed. that's fair, but here i am stuck typing on the phone again.

i had a number of projects to do while he was gone, but it's looking like i won't be able to finish them all. mostly because i am dumb - i hate cooking so when spouse is gone i have zero motivation to make decent food. i got a walmart take-n-bake pizza and promptly gave myself a low grade headache all week, so i have had to take nap breaks to let my head chill out and it has slowed me down. just because the beef kidney pills help doesn't mean i have a golden ticket to eat garbage, apparently. see, i'm trying out this "histamine intolerance" theory by eating all the naughty bad foods and seeing how awful i feel later. i could eat only good foods and see how good i feel, but nah, that's work, let's eat this walmart pizza full of preservatives and suffer.

i really gotta get on my food prep game. i just fucking hate cooking. i guess it's not so much the cooking but the mess that cooking makes and the active brain space it takes up. i have all these other projects, i don't want to add cooking to that list. i just want instant cheap food with as little effort as possible and as few dirty dishes as possible.

we got a food vacuum saver thing and i got these little pouches in different sizes and have been messing around with snack packs. that's been going well. not only is it portion control, but it's grab-n-go, no-think food. if i can extend that to dinner choices it would be good. i want to get a really nice blender, like a vitamix, and maybe if all else fails i can just make myself weird smoothies. i hate cooking. i hate the decision making hoops, i hate the ingredient gathering, i hate the prep work mess, i hate the post cooking mess. i just need to make large batches of food, portion it out, freeze it, and then it's ready to go when i need it so i don't succumb to the lure of walmart pizza.

see i was hoping i'd finish all my projects early and have a nice relaxing day to myself, do some cleaning, maybe mess around with the grey project, but nope, i'm going to be lucky to get the house back in the same shape it was when he left.

good news is i got all the sanding done i was putting off, because the garage is unheated and i haven't wanted to run a space heater to warm it up unless i had a lot to do. i have been dicking around with this long shelf in the hall for paperbacks. i got it all put together and sanded, ready for staining. i sanded and stained the office shelves. i finished and installed a little shelf behind the bed for a dedicated power strip. i sanded and finished these platters i'm going to turn into lazy susans for the kitchen. i did some finshing work on the cat door insert for the sliding glass door. i am spray painting these d12 plastic container things i am turning into lamps.

today i need to install the office shelves, do some staining, install a cutting board holder, install helmet holders ... the project list seems endless. weeks earlier, i tried to give something to spouse just to see if he wanted in on the house project fun - i had him paint the helmet holders. easy peasy, right? they came out terrible. it's like a goblin painted them. they are honestly so bad i would assume he was deliberately using "weaponized incompetence", except that's not his style. i didn't bother sanding off all the gloppy paint runs (helmet will hide it), but i did give up and buy spray paint (which i was trying to avoid by having him paint them) and go over the uneven patches. so it saved me no time because i had to paint them myself anyway. spouse just isn't a craftsperson. so i can't really give him tasks and i don't think he's secretly desperate to help. i adore him, he is smart and funny and great with people, but i'm the handyman around here and that's that.

i am slowly scratching things off the list, there's just always more hiccups than i think.

i haven't checked in with spouse's mom to see if the allithiamine is doing anything for her. i don't want to remind her i exist and have her invite us to drive down for thanksgiving, ha ha. we have an invite from friends in town and honestly even that is sounding like a lot - now my plans for grilled cheese & tomato soup are upended and i have to navigate bringing a dish, etc. ugh - more food thinking. i'm still making a turkey and doing grilled cheese & tomato soup, but it might be the day before or after. i ordered the panini grill thing.

i'm mildly curious if mil will try to arrange anything for thanksgiving at all. i get that they don't want to drive anywhere themselves (winter roads, old people discomfort, gas costs), but they don't have a dinner table, or even space to put out a folding table. like we'd show up for thanksgiving and she'd rummage around in the fridge for leftovers to feed us, which we eat standing in the kitchen. i would take that as a cue to take on thanksgiving myself and invite them to come to us, but we already know they don't want to drive. plus i don't think we could accommodate the whole family who might want to show. would we get 2 guests or potentially 8+? anything more than 6 adults in this house and i will be super anxious. and then there's the potential small children - we are definitely not small children ready. so i think trying to host here would be inviting big drama, one way or another. we'll see what mil does.

i got our little turkey and spouse is supposed to have next week off. we'll get some chill out time.