By all rights I should have a headache right now and I don't. It's VERY exciting. I felt it creeping up on me last night - felt my ears stuff up and my blood pressure climb and my neck stiffen up and my thoughts begin to get all manic and jumbled. I got the flashy chaotic afterimages in my vision. But the hammer never fell. I actually slept (!), and in the morning there was no pain. The pressure is still there, but it is slowly ebbing. This is very unusual. I can probably count the number of times a headache has backed off on one hand. Fingers crossed it stays this way for the rest of the day, 'cause I would love to get some stuff done.

I'm so pleased, you have no idea. But cautious. It could be a fluke. I'll take it, though.

I haven't checked on my astrology transits in a while because the software I use was on the laptop with spouse. Phone astrology apps are hot dumb garbage and the free website charts are not much better. The orbs are always too large and they don't include some things that I find important. Really, once you get used to dedicated software with fine control, everything else is an exercise in frustration. So I haven't been paying it much attention - the planets don't stop moving if you forget to check on them. Time still passes if you don't look at the clock. I'm at the tail end of the really involved septile transit of my chart that has spanned the last year.

Yesterday's lunar eclipse in taurus was on the fourth point of my septile pattern, conjunct my vertex (an obscure imaginary point that isn't important unless a planet activates it by transit). I'm at the end of my uranus-uranus opposition transit, so uranus has been transiting my vertex, opposing my natal uranus in scorpio. So in these few specific degrees of taurus, I have my natal vertex (fourth septile point), transiting uranus opposing my natal uranus, and now this total lunar eclipse, which means that the north node is transiting that fourth septile point. It feels like ... like the cosmic punctuation at the end of a sentence, or the close of a stage curtain for intermission between acts. Like I'm supposed to see and know that I have made it through a particular life stage with particular lessons, and now it is time for a new chapter. Very obvious. This is the divider.

So it's kinda spooky that the timing coincides with potentially finding a real working solution for my headaches. It's like the blue fairy coming down and granting me a wish.

The moon has been particularly lovely the past few days leading up to the eclipse - we had clear and cold weather and it rose like a fat golden egg above the snowy mountains faintly glowing with the last dusky bit of sunset. Mary and I were talking about how beautiful it was. I wanted to stay up and see the lunar eclipse at 2am, but we had some clouds roll in that evening and I figured it was too overcast. I kinda wish I'd at least gone out and looked for it. Mary joked that if you take a slice of bologna and stick it to your window, it looks just like a lunar eclipse. She is hilarious.

So this series of eclipses has been taurus-scorpio and the next series will be aries-libra. I was born the day before a total solar eclipse, and next year there will be a solar eclipse on Oct 14 - close enough to my birthday to be conjunct. So I get natal eclipse energy and transiting eclipse energy. That ought to be interesting. Maybe I'll power up like a dragonball Z character.

I get the sense that the time between now and my birthday is special. Like I am being kitted out for something. The universe is being super fucking crystal clear and marking it out for me. You needed to learn that. Here is your present. You're ready for the next stage.

Like I spent the first part of my life dismissing my intuition and then having to re-learn how to trust it, even if it seems silly and improbable. I have gone from valuing the strictly rational to choosing what is seemingly irrational and whimsical. Because I define the world I prefer to exist in. I define what is of value. I choose. Do I walk on the surface of the earth, or does the earth move under my feet - it's just a mental trick, but the perspective change is real. Part of our current collective problem is that we are "at the mercy" of our grim accepted reality. We suffer because of the mental concepts and limits we have accepted. But that's something we can change for the better, if enough of us want to choose differently. It'll just happen. Likely in the near future? No. But still possible and perhaps even inevitable, someday. I guess I have arrived at a place where I know things don't look good right now, I know there's a lot of things very wrong with the world and a lot of suffering, but we're just going to have to work through it to learn what we need to learn. The harder the lesson, the more potential good can come of it. I'm infected with an irrational sort of dumb optimism, I guess.

I am very very fortunate. I have a really good life. I'm feeling really positive and solid right now. I've got a gut feeling that I'm right where I should be. All is well.