i've gotten distracted, what with the fascinating and horrible state of the world currently. i did this when the pandemic was spooling up - i got sucked into the information vortex. in the moment it seems super important but long term it's kinda futile and a waste of time. there's so much shit out there to sift through, and then you can't really do anything about it anyway. the world isn't sane and won't react in sensible fashion. i guess you get to feel important when you gossip about it to friends/coworkers and show off the tidbits you mined, but that in itself is a trap. i think that's how qanon got its hooks in people - people want to be the smart one who knows sekrit things and won't be a sucker like the average joe/jane. it's cheap to be knowledge-rich these days, like an information magpie, but much like a magpie you don't know if you've got a gum wrapper or a doubloon. all you know is it's very shiny, and someone convinced you that is good.

i read somewhere that it's human and normal to anticipate a doomsday. our lizard brains are constantly on alert for the next crisis. like, i've heard that revelations was tacked on the bible afterward to give christians a timeline to focus on and something to anticipate. can you imagine christianity without the "end times", the antichrist, all the weird prophecy? i doubt it would be a dominant religion today because it's dull without the riddles about the end of the world. revelations is there to generate fear, and then hope in a path to avoid the calamities non-believers will suffer. it's not enough to have the promise of heaven after one dies. not sexy enough. christians have been saying the world is in the end times probably since the moment a good portion of them got their hands on revelations. lots of christians should just call themselves "revelationites" instead because they are so obsessed with the rapture, etc. throw out what jesus said, let's wank over this cryptic prophecy.

it seems weird to have my headspace filled with mundane little house projects when some people say we're entering the "greatest depression" and a world famine. like, i just want to get my new couch and make a decision on what coordinating rugs to buy so my friends will be super impressed with my home decorating when they come over for a bbq. how shallow is that. meanwhile, my inner poor person is wondering if we should get a 5lb bucket of lentils. ???

most likely, the world will invent new dumb ways to keep stumbling along and turn a profit. too many people believe in money for it to go away. they make movies about massive sudden disasters and that's what we expect. not the slow, stupid crawl where some are perfectly fine and others lose jobs, homes, regular meals, opportunities. i mean, maybe they were just bad at their job? maybe they should have known better to buy a house in a disaster prone area? hope they don't ask to borrow money! awkward.

we can ignore a disaster easy, if incentivized.

anyway, i gotta go to costco. maybe i'll check and see if they have lentils.