Tired of screwing up, tired of going down, tired of myself, tired of this town.

Oh my my, oh hell yes, honey, put on that party dress.

Buy me a drink, sing me a song, take me as I come 'cause I can't stay long.

And then there was one.

I got my stuff moved over to the rasp pi and I am settling in. Might take a bit, I think I forgot all the stuff I refreshed around the new year. Some things are not going to work (libreoffice), but I was pleasantly surprised that an open source writing program I used and liked theoretically could work (focuswriter). I'm over here in the art corner now with my nice orange chair. No more couch potatoing. Spouse made me a login on his desktop but I am hoping to not need it much and focus on getting familiar with linux.

So excited, really really excited. I adore spouse and love his company, but some things just require alone time to do properly. I'm going to make myself a batch of pumpkin protein brownies and forget about cooking unless I feel like it. Ha ha ha!!! Fuck you, dishes!!

This gemlog and the small internet have made such a difference for me in the past year. I cannot say how thankful I am for knowing this corner exists. I know I haven't done much constructive here, I've more or less squatted like an unsociable digital hobo, like a squirrelly squirrel in the attic, but it's really been a security blanket for me. Just knowing there is somewhere beyond/outside the Big Internet. I'm not sure I would be in as good a place mentally without this gemlog, because it gives me a place to process things and feel "heard" even if speaking metaphorically to myself. And I don't know why that's true when there are so many other digital spots where I could do digital diary entries, but don't hit the same way. Maybe it's because there are no comments to stress about. It just feels peaceful and zen. Read, not read. Noodles, don't noodles.

Anyway, I was thinking on the drive back after dropping off spouse what a huge difference it has made to just know that the small internet is there. Even if I wasn't quite ready to interact. I mean, there are a lot of really bright, amazing people here. Nobody wants to be the window licker, dragging the quality down. So many innovative thinkers ... and then birchkoruk over there, having a fit in her filth nest. Welp. We can't all be acupuncturists.

I am so excited. SO EXCITED. For the future.