Still dialing in the engraving stuff. When we were out grocery shopping I dropped by Home Depot (the Michaels of building stuff) and got this dremel brand single cut carbide burr in a 3mm width. I'm noticing that it has a strong pull at certain angles that I can't counter no matter how stable I keep my hand. I was hunting for special sizes and supposedly double cuts have less pull and allow for better control. I was under the impression single cuts were better for stainless, but heck, let's try 'em out. I think the perfect general purpose width might be somewhere around 2.5mm. 2mm slightly too skinny, 3mm slightly too fat. So I'm ordering some burrs from this US company (carbideburr.net) that offers both single and double cut at $4 each, but they don't have the full range of widths I would want. There's a UK company that has a fantastic size range (eternaltools.com) in $7 burrs, but then shipping is pricey. I'm going to end up with a hodgepodge, but that's the artist way I suppose. I'm trying to be strategic about what I buy but I guess wasting money in the course of starting a new craft is inevitable.

I did that henna designed cup and it has two straight band line bands. Normally I can freehand a razor straight line on paper. But there are some wobbles on this cup due to the burr pull and I've been wondering what I'm going to do about it. The solution is I'm going to put the rotary tool in a vise and have the cup set at a particular height such that I can rotate the cup and get a perfect band line. Assuming I got the transfer on straight (big assumption).

I got some metalworking lube. I can't tell much of a difference, but I'm also not boring through solid aluminum either. I was hoping it might help smooth things out. At least it may help extend burr life.

I have one of those buckwheat filled meditation cushions. I wrapped it in a plastic shopping bag and put it on my workspace. It elevates the cup by about 5" so I'm not hunched over. Makes for a firm but conforming surface to brace the object against. I think I'm going to sew myself a smaller cushion, maybe a 6" cube (fill it with the dried beans I anxiously bought pre-covid. Like, beans are a complete protein and this bag is 99 cents. If I buy this we won't starve. Now I have a small plastic tub full of dry beans I can't eat because they have too many carbs.). I looked at jeweler's sandbags, but it doesn't have the height to bring the object up to a better working level. Plus I can make my version for free.

Dug up a grease pencil and it works well to fill in any light/missing transfer areas. Better than a sharpie. I ordered a pack of assorted colors of grease pencil because I am wondering if I can do a freehand design similar how I was taught to use sharpies to freehand a tattoo design on skin. Might be necessary for curved product. Had some trouble transferring onto these curved stemless wine glasses. I ordered lighter tracing weight paper to hopefully conform better.

I'm switching to cotton gloves instead of vinyl. I want something to protect from the metal dust and keep finger smudges off the cup, but it sucks peeling off the damp latex carefully so they can be reworn. Latex gloves are almost three times the price they used to be. Also, cat hair doesn't brush off latex easily and it's driving me absolutely bonkers. The Cat sheds white hair that is legendary in it's ability to resist a lint roller. I don't know what we're going to do with spouse's black suits, but I suspect we will be buying every lint rolling tool in existence and running an olympic style event to figure out the best one, because unless we move somewhere with a garage spouse can change in, those suits are getting festooned with cat hair within roughly 30 seconds of being in the house. That's why he owns not-black suits. You know the meme with the dramatic yelling crying women and the smug white cat? That's us vs the Cat in a nutshell, especially when it comes to getting his white hair everywhere it shouldn't be. I try to wipe it off and of course there's cat hair on my clothes and then I just get MORE cat hair on the gloves. This must be a clever form of torment they use in purgatory. (I got the cotton gloves. Unfortunately they make my grip on the rotary tool too slippery. I have to wear latex on my right hand, cotton on the left. Better for sure, but def not fashionable.)

I dug up my old apron from the screenprinting shop to wear when I'm engraving. There's something purposeful about wearing an apron that I really like, which is why I made my old boss buy me one. It's an underappreciated garment. You get good pockets, you can wear nicer clothes because they're protected, it says you are ready to do a job. If I were to start a fashion trend, it would be apron wearing. Maybe I'll just start wearing aprons everywhere, who knows. You know the more I think about that idea the more I like it. It fits with the functional (but boring) wardrobe I was already assembling for tattooing. I was looking at sun hats and I would have got the bonnet style except it wasn't big enough for my oversized head. Maybe I'll sew one for myself. Maybe I just go "little house on the prairie" chic for 2021. Why the hell not? There's no rules anymore. Do what I want.

Apparently there's a logistic/shipping backlog due to covid that could cause trouble for electronic goods and other imported stuff like raw materials. Packaging adhesive, wood glue. I am prioritizing my purchase list. What with craft fair season starting up again and the stimulus dropping, people are going to buy up what's in stock and it might be tough/expensive to find alternatives for a bit until things straighten out. The little pop up tent I want should be back in stock this week and I am going to jump on it.

Spouse mentioned our bank has started processing the stimulus money, so I'm like, great, PS, I want to buy this little canopy tent. And spouse is like, well I just spent a bunch of money on suits so you can get whatever you want. Which is fantastic because now I can guiltlessly advocate for the buying of an unreasonable number of cups. Not that I think spouse would oppose the idea. I have weird hangups with spending money due to my upbringing, because we were poor and my dad took his stress out on me (not "went to bed hungry" poor, or "living in a hotel room" poor, just "excited about a trash bag of charity clothes because it's how you get new clothes" poor). So I don't like asking for things, because it's just a huge opening for someone to point out all my shortcomings and say you don't deserve the money to do the thing you are asking for. It's the lack of faith by the people closest to you that cuts the deepest. If they see your little deficiencies in your private everyday moments and they're like, I knew it, you're just worthless and it's a waste to give you anything - it's hard to counter that when you're feeling down already.

Money makes everything go. It's the gas in the car or the movie ticket or the bus fare or getting a soda at the mall with friends or going to prom. I didn't get an allowance as a kid. There are so many things I did not do because of the stress of having to ask for the means to do them. So the past couple years without making my own income have been psychologically fraught, even though spouse has never made me feel anything like my dad did. He grew up at about the same poorness level, he's the biggest softie when it comes to treats because he knows what it means. We go grocery shopping and I'll pick a bottle of kombucha and internally I'm questioning if I rate spending the $3 and figuring the odds that spouse will comment negatively if I put it in the cart. It's not that he ever would, it's that I can't choose a $3 treat without automatically questioning my whole self worth. Now like a dummy I'm thinking, well it's not really just $3, it's actually more like $200 a year if you buy a kombucha every grocery trip. Which just goes to show that if you really work at it, you too can decide any small indulgence is too extravagant for the likes of yourself. I understand why so many poor people smoke and keep smoking. Or why millennials buy the avocado toast when they're crushed under student loans. They're saying they are worth enough to give themselves a momentary luxury. I've never smoked just because of the cost. Spend my spare $10 on cigarettes or art supplies? Well, I have a ton of art supplies, let's just say that. Everyone has a habit.

Getting the stimulus makes me feel like I have my own money. The first $600 I spent on a tattoo machine (a really, really good one). The second $600 is earmarked for a fancy portable tattoo table that is still out of stock. I suppose this $1400 will go to drawing on cups and attempting to get money for them at craft markets. If nobody buys these things, three guesses as to what everyone in the family is getting for Christmas.

I got the round slate plate thing and I put together the graphic to carve into it and transferred it (had to trace by hand with transfer paper due to texture). Apparently slate is an easy material to carve, so I have high hopes. I still need to draw up my actual logo. When I thought up the name I got a flash of exactly what the logo should look like so fingers crossed it will come together. The only tricky part is I need to make sure I can turn it into a hand cut stencil easily, so I can "print" my logo on the cheap. Apparently there is a company that will make a custom burned screen for $40, which is a raging good deal if you've ever had the extreme displeasure of burning screens at home in your bathroom. The difference between a professional screenmaking booth and a repurposed bathroom is like the difference between James Bond's apartment and a cave. Now that I know how the professionals work, there's no way I'd talk myself into doing it at home. Single color screenprinting is relatively straightforward once you get a good screen made and if you're smart about ink choices. And if you can screenprint you can do your own small runs of product bags, a logo'd hoodie or tshirt to wear at events, or a tablecloth, giveaway promo items, paper, fabric, cardboard, anything flat, etc. I'll fake it with a hand cut stencil for a while, but I'd love to have a screen or two burned. Probably the easiest way to get small batches of professional looking branded stuff in versatile color options for very little money.

Wasting a bunch of time trying to nail down booth decor, which sounds dumb but is important. Perfect world, the booth style should match the website should match the product. Since my budget is small I want to find the best thing for the lowest price, and I don't want to be wasteful by getting anything that isn't necessary or suitable. I'm selling an upscale product, the booth needs to match. It needs to look interesting from 20 feet away. It needs to have unisex appeal, so the dudes don't get glitterphobia and avoid me. And due to my transportation or lack thereof, each part has to be extremely functional. It has to look good indoors or outdoors, day or evening, full sun or a little wind and rain. So it's stuff like, what colors do I want to use, what will set off the product best, what small details can I work in to make the booth easier to point out and stick in the memory? What choices can I make that will be easy to find/coordinate decor in the future? What's the most efficient bare minimum for packaging and business cards?

Setting up any old booth with a vehicle, spare house furniture and someone to help is super easy. Setting up a well thought out booth that makes the right impression, on a shoestring budget, for one person to transport and assemble, is hard. Nevermind I can't just go to thrift stores and browse for good luck finds like I used to.

Christ I hate my life right now. I hate feeling like I have no resources of my own. I hate not having my own car. I hate not bringing in an income. I hate not being able to even try to find friends. I've gotten some serious sympathy for stay at home moms over the past year. I thought they had it easy(ish), but this blows, and I don't even have kids to wrangle and spouse is as easygoing as they come. I get why they desperately self medicate by bragging about their starbucks frap in their tacky glitter scrapbook sippy cup on instagram. I get why they latch on to their spouse's identity and try to borrow clout from his job. I totally get why they fall prey to MLMs selling bad makeup or clothes or snake oil or whatever, while the rest of us can't believe they could be so gullible. They just want some legitimacy, and an identity, and they can't figure out how to get the real thing around the pieces of their life as is. It's like shopping in Target and realizing if you cock your head and squint it's a yawning pit of suburban existential horror masquerading as an tasteful lifestyle accessory feeding trough. I mean, are we all just self medicating with shiny things, catchy music and attention to keep the terror of our own pitiful insignificance at bay? Is that the marrow of capitalism? Is that the soul of the stupid glitter cup?

Alright, well, here's hoping I have a productive day because I have just depressed the living shit out of myself. I'm gonna go draw some bugs on cups or something so people will hopefully give me little green papers in exchange for pieces of my life and all parties involved can briefly feel better about themselves while our space rock spins towards oblivion.

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Drama with cricut:

Sounds like cricut is going to a paid software subscription model and limiting uploads (designs people can then use with the machine) for free users. This is exactly why I would never ever ever buy a cricut and it stunk like a scam when I first heard about it. They bait suckers with the friendly package and decorator colored plastic into investing into a "creative women friendly" branded workspace, and then exploit the fuck out of the aspirations they encouraged. You want to cut vinyl? Get a an actual professional grade machine. The ones that don't come in pastels. This hobby-pro bullshit is a horrible scam. It's dangling a hopeful gig economy/side hustle opportunity for anyone who thinks they have a couple cute ideas, and then going pay-to-play on their customers/herd. Wretched. I don't like etsy either, I think they're on roughly the same tier. It's all about capitalizing on craftspeople (largely women without full time employment) who have been fed the hope that they might make a little income from their unique handmade stuff. Nevermind that they already pay a premium for the raw materials they buy in small quantities from Michaels or Joanns, because they have been fooled into thinking those stores are good. Plus shipping and credit card fees. And they're competing with mass manufactured, drop shipped products from companies that will happily copy anything successful. Let's charge them for the opportunity to sell. Let's charge them for any extras we can figure out. How much of a cut will they stand for the dream?

Ooohhhh this makes me so mad. Ok yeah, I am not a fan of scrapbook chic, and yeah, I sneer at tacky cups with cut vinyl personalization. But I'll be damned if I want to see those people's hopes farmed like a cash crop and squeezed for every penny of profit. It's cruel to gouge the mommy crowd like this. They barely make anything sellable as it is! Cricut/Michaels/Joanns is the equivalent of the tarantula wasp, you know, the one that stings a tarantula, paralyzes it, drags it back to a hole and lays eggs on it so the tarantula gets eaten alive.

Let them make as many meme cups with your crappy machine as they want, you assholes!