Okay this is probably going to be a snotty post. I apologize in advance.

What the fuck is up with these glitter epoxy tumblers.

Have you seen these things? Oh my god. Since I've been looking at a lot of different stainless steel cups and such, I have been running across them and kits to make them and special cup turning machines and whatever other paraphernalia. At first I thought it was a weird crafty fluke a few people were pushing, like zentangles (zentangles, let's make an MLM out of rigid doodling), but apparently they are everywhere and people actually like them. Really really like them. Supposedly if you learn to make one, all your friends and family will line up to demand them. People are starting businesses selling glitter (?!!) and making these custom cups. The final straw was yesterday when I ran across a subreddit devoted to making and showing off these epoxy tumblers.

There is a specific subreddit for these glitter encrusted, scrapbook horror shows with 1600 members. Wat.

I see these things and all I can think is: why would you smother a giant cup in epoxy? It's amazing stuff but I don't want it near my mouth. You can't wash the cup really well after that, epoxy doesn't like heat. It's not going to stay glossy and nice. It's gonna be gross in 18 months, tops. Or break once it gets dropped. Or have a weird reaction over time due to the mix of different supplies. The pictures printed on a home printer won't be lightfast. Epoxy is expensive and temperamental. It sounds like a craft project my mom would have had to talk me out of, clutching a bottle of elmers glue in one hand and glitter in the other. "No, honey, that's a bad idea, you're going to ruin a nice cup."

I am genuinely flummoxed. I get the whole DIY niche fandom swag vibe. You want a Harry Potter tumbler and you can't find one you like, so you're going to print some pictures and get some modge podge and make your own so you can be a super geek at a weekend convention, okay. I understand sassy meme quotes are very popular and I suppose running around with your favorite in a cup form is a time saving shortcut so no one has to check your instagram. Glitter gifs have proven to be a timeless internet classic, and this is a way to make them happen in real life. I suppose people need to invent ways to use their expensive scrapbooking craft hoard and home vinyl cutters. Okay.

Obviously they have a lot of appeal to a certain sort of person and whoever that is, I am not it. I'm suspecting there's an overlap with the MLM crowd. And stay at home moms who like huge tumblers because they play family busdriver for hours and want a tasty beverage companion while they wait for soccer practice to end. And people who take pride in not being required to present a professional appearance. They're cheer cups, basically. They're an outer expression of exuberant devotion to a group/cause/identity.

Yeah that's probably why I don't like them. They're made for extroverts.

Tattoos are a similar outward expression of identity, true. Let's check my own snobbery. But there's a world of difference from a traditional irezumi and a home scratched ICP logo. Both are tattoos, yes. But one means something so completely different than the other that they aren't even in the same universe. Epoxy tumblers are the home scratched ICP logos of decorated cups. Maybe they even fill the same void. You might see one that is not terrible, but it is still terrible.

I thought for sure there would be a snark group somewhere devoted to the really exceptionally ugly and tacky examples, but so far I am disappoint (no doubt there is a hidden facebook group somewhere - if there's a group for snarking weddings, there has to be a group for making fun of these tumblers).

I guess these are my competition in the world of customized beverage containers? On the upside it proves there's a healthy niche market for custom cups.

It reminds me of the fluid acrylic pour art trend a few years back. I took a class and made one and it's a casual low/no skill art activity anyone can do and have fun. Good way to spend an hour or so and play with color. I was curious and asked the instructor about how she prepped the paint for the class and she got cagey like I'd asked a professional magician how they did an illusion. Lady, I have zero desire to build my own fluid art empire. I'm making conversation, I know how to google. If you think anyone with a formula can instantly become credible competition, I am the least of your worries. I guess that's the same way I feel about these epoxy tumblers. If anyone with enough spare cash can buy a cricut and some epoxy and make tacky meme cups, the only people making any real money are the cup, epoxy and cricut manufacturers (and the glitter businesses, presumably).

There's a ton of people who want to be artsy without the miserable hard-knowledge slog part of art (the work). They just want to have fun buying some products, sit down, play with colors, make something pretty in a couple hours and have the kitchen table cleaned off in time for dinner. It's an enormous and lucrative market. Michaels literally exists to serve and foster this demographic. Paint-by-number kits, scrapbooking, zentangles, fluid art, adult coloring books, paper journal layouts, paint-and-sips, making these epoxy cups - Bob Ross, for goodness sake - these trends are all about low/no skill fun art that anyone can do. If the end result is something you can sell, or maybe get money teaching others to make, it becomes even more attractive and legitimate. Because money extends and validates the illusion that you are a creative person making art. I adore Bob Ross, I've happily watched so many episodes, but if I followed his tutorial and made a painting I would not be an artist or have made art. It's a pleasant wall decoration.

Me being me, I overthink "ART", probably with negative impact to myself. Is it talent or skill or intent or output or originality that separates an ARTIST from a dabbler? All of it? There's fine artists that don't think illustrators are artists. There's artists who only sell originals that sneer at those who sell prints. There's oil painters that still sneer at acrylics. There's acrylic painters that sneer at digital. There's clean artists who sneer at porn artists. There's Bill Alexander fans who think Bob Ross is a ripoff. Everybody gatekeeping their Good and Respectable art territories vs those other degenerate non-artist heathens that are basically tacky lawless barbarians. We're all someone else's illegitimate dabbler, I guess.

But I think everyone with taste agrees, these epoxy tumblers are an abomination. I am going to stake out my cup territory on that. Here is my line, there are the barbarians. Look at them, rolled in custom glitter and screaming about alcohol inks. Savages.

I did browse the subreddit long enough to figure out their cheap cup suppliers, but it only reinforced to me that I want to buy quality product from reputable businesses that at least put on a face about caring about the environmental impact and worker's rights. One website hilariously had absolutely nothing about their manufacturing process, no pictures of the inside of the cup (cheaper manufacturing has visible seams), or where their product is made. Not even a token "designed in the US". Those epoxy tumblers only have to do their job for a few months before they are garbage, so get whatever's cheapest, right?

I want my engraved cups to last for years or decades. I'm not saying it's because my art or craftsmanship is so amazing, but just because a durable product is beautiful and valuable by itself. It's a cup. A cup that will be useful as long as the metal holds.

Anyway, that's my snobby epoxy tumbler rant for today.