Right Ho, Wodehouse

As much as it earnestly felt like I had quit YouTube do the

experience of it running ads right in the middle of of an

intense musical experience I was having, I fell off the

wagon yesterday into the night, and the early a.m., giving

up the ghost at 3:00 in the morning [1].

It looks like YouTube will have to follow the pattern set by

Twitter and Reddit of gradually winding usage down until one

day I can achieve Grover Norquist's for the government and be

able to drown it in the bathtub.

When that future act of web-i-cide occurs I will be sure to

wait a bit longer to report it as I am a bit embarrassed to

have hooked up to the feeds yet again.  But there is a kind

of emptiness that makes a sort of palliative itch-scratching.

Via Gemini I came to this quote from House of Leaves by Mark Z

Danielewski:

>Who has never killed an hour? Not casually or without

>thought, but carefully: a premeditated murder of

>minutes. The violence comes from a combination of

>giving up, not caring, and a resignation that getting

>past it is all you can hope to accomplish. So you

>kill the hour. You do not work, you do not read, you

>do not daydream. If you sleep it is not because you

>need to sleep. And when at last it is over, there

>is no evidence: no weapon, no blood, and no body.

>The only clue might be the shadows beneath your eyes

>or a terribly thin line near the corner of your mouth

>indicating something has been suffered, that in the

>privacy of your life you have lost something and

>the loss is too empty to share.

In an odd way I am sort of glad that I felt these negative

feelings.  This at least gives me feelings to express beyond

bemusement at pattern.

So why did I feel so empty?  Looking from the distance some

sleep, coffee, and looking out to verdure and bird play, I

have a few theories.  But, you know, just thinking about

them, going on a walk, putting them in outline form,

writing the rest of the email and then taking a nap has

left me not feeling like going into any of it.  Partly this

is because the last great rabbit hole I went down was on

P.G. Wodehouse.  I had not realized there would be video

interviews of him. Here's one such interview and then a

documentary:

https://youtu.be/Re9QXetFipM

https://youtu.be/DbiwROt0yL8

I say this with no irony: who needs insight, the turning

points of history, or anything ponderous when you can have

Wodehouse?

I am deliberately taking a day off from my studies (one of

my theories as to why I was so depressed was pushing myself

too hard there, then guilt at the prospect of giving up) [2].

And I now know that my destiny is not to just read

non-fiction. No, no, there is enough Wodehouse to make a

nice reading life out of.  I'm only three in, lifetime, so

over 60 novels alone to go.

I say go to the light.

===

[1] I had also joined sdf.org and was going through the

initial attempts and mistakes necessary to wield the tools

with joy and make the place a home.

[2] Since I gave one theory, here is another -- that piece

I wrote yesterday, [the sexy one], left me deeply

disheartened.  Any society that can punch up the word sexy

is not only deeply dehumanizing, but preying on human

weakness -- all with an attractive gloss.  You are a fool

for falling for it, but a greater fool for trying to be

outside of it. The word idiot traces back to Greek for

being an individual out of step with those around you.

And I sensed the darkness and isolation in all that.  But

enough of that.  To beautiful days and beautiful books,

and even beautiful videos.

=>gemini://gemlog.blue:1965/users/NetCandide/1615648831.gmi [the sexy one]