Roadkill (cw: graphic description of dead companion animal)

I drove past a dead cat today. Its front legs were splayed out in front of it, and its back half was just a bloody smear. I can’t imagine that it died painlessly.

I see this all the time as a rideshare driver. Dead rabbits. Raccoons. Deer. Animals I can’t identify, I’m driving too fast and their corpse is just a blur out the corner of my eye.

And I’m upset. And I hate cars and drivers and modern infrastructure for making this happen.

And then I get over it. A sentient being slaughtered, suffering pointlessly for no reason it can comprehend, and I’m over it.

I don’t know if I’ll get over this cat. I always have a stronger reaction when it’s a cat. That makes no logical sense and is probably cruel to other animals. But I look back on the dead racoons I’ve driven past with detachment — tinted with regret, but still — while I still lie awake at night thinking about cats I’ve known and met and let down.

Chicken Cat

There’s one little guy I found scavenging in a parking lot. He (as I think of it; it was orange, so it’s marginally more likely, I think?) was trying to get into a tied-closed KFC bag someone had discarded. I approached and he ran off, but not far; he didn’t want to abandon his meal. Even after I tore the bag open and dumped the contents on the ground (perfectly good chicken strips! If you’re going to eat meat is it too much to ask that you actually EAT it and not throw it away?!) he just stared at me until I backed off and got in my car. As I drove away I saw him feasting.

My wife and I still call him Chicken Cat. I hope he’s okay right now, but there’s no way I’ll ever know.

Do most people feel this way?

And if so, why is the world still like this?

Not to compare serious real world issues to video games, but

I’m gonna compare serious real world issues to video games.

I don’t understand FFXIV fans who have no empathy for Hermes. I would go so far as to say I’m WARY of anyone who completed the Elpis section of MSQ and doesn’t get where Hermes was coming from.

Sure, there’s the trend of ignoring plot themes in favor of reductionist "cool motive, still genocide" takes, but like... you HAVE to see where he’s coming from, right? And yet there’s plenty of sympathy for Meteion, because she’s a ~cute lil loli~, when she essentially had the same motivations and ACTUALLY COMMITTED MULTIPLE GENOCIDES.

Tangent done.

Sorry about that.

I feel helpless to do anything. I keep my cat inside and when I’m driving I try to keep an eye out for any critters. I don’t think I’ve hit anything so far, though I’ve only had a license for six-ish years, so maybe it’s only a matter of time.

And you know, even if I can put it out of my mind and not let it affect me, isn’t that just as bad? Dwelling on bad things doesn’t help, no, but ignoring them feels even worse!

I don’t have an ending to this post.

Tags

mental health

society