Sanshoshima Swamp and New Enterprise

In my faith, we are very gentle in propagating the practice. As long as people are doing well and are resiliently happy, we have no need to "convert" them—it's more important that they live well and self-actualize. If our faith will help them, they will choose to adopt it of their own accord.

For a while, this was not so. The old practice was to destroy resistance to the faith by knowing it so well that you could defeat any argument against it. This was known as "shakubuku". It was phased out of the practice by Daisaku Ikeda, the 3rd president of the Soka Gakkai, and the one who grew the organization internationally.

From Brittanica:

> A technique of evangelism called shakubuku (Japanese: “break and subdue”), in which the resistance of the other person is destroyed by forceful argument.

Shakubuku on Brittanica

Colloquially, though, introducing someone to the practice is still known as "shakubuku."

My first mentor

When I first received my Gohonzon and was in terrible health, my first mentor—the one who shakubuku-ed me—would chant with me every morning. She gave me this little sketch with a path drawn on it, made of hundreds of tiny dots. Every time you chant for 15 minutes, you fill in a dot.

My chanting map

This was so helpful for me. I'd lost all desire to live and any confidence that I could do anything useful. However, I could still chant, if only barely. It became a pleasure to chant and add dots to the path. (Well, maybe "pleasure" is a stretch. At the very least, it made me feel like I was good for something.)

Ever since I moved out of her neighborhood, my first mentor and I fell out of touch. I haven't examined the reasons why; I don't believe myself to be wise enough to definitively figure out life changes. I believe she still reads these, and we support each other from a distance.

I still keep up with adding dots to the path. It's satisfying. But what's also interesting is that there are "stops" that are sketched in along the way; some look good, and some look bad.

Sanshoshima

A couple of weeks ago, I started to approach the "sanshoshima swamp" on the drawing. I haven't always experienced challenges in the "challenge" parts of the picture; nor have I always experienced victories in the "victory" parts of the picture. However, whenever I approach one of these milestones, I find myself wondering how I might change *if* the theme of the milestone was to assert itself in my life.

There have been times where I was barely hanging on as I approached a "challenge" stage. It was genuinely helpful to consider how I might approach the situation if things got worse—it made me assess what was strength was available to me in a positive light.

Back to the swamp

In Nichiren Buddhism, "sanshoshima" literally means "three obstacles and four devils." You can read more about them in this link:

Three obstacles and four devils

Herbie Hancock even wrote a song about it. (I'm listening to it right now.)

Sanshoshima (1976)

You can think of Sanshoshima as "all the things that will naturally go wrong in life." These are seen as deliberate obstacles which you can use as an opportunity to grow in your faith practice.

They suck. A lot.

So, as I was approaching the Sanshoshima Swamp, I started to wonder how I would conduct myself if things were to go south. I felt capable of it.

It happened

A day into coloring my Sanshoshima Swamp dots, several things happened at once.

My father's cognitive illness has progressed a lot, and he suddenly grew violent enough that he had to be confined to hospital. My mother was very stressed.

At the same time, we had to lay off many people at work.

Two people in my friend circle had quite bad things happen to people close to them, and I had volunteered to help.

Then, my sister's dog died.

Whenever I end up in a situation where I'm offering support to others, the people closest to me start to worry that I'm going to "break down" again. And you know, I might. But I certainly don't feel that it's likely.

It would be easy to be offended by this behaviour, but I am happy that I can appreciate it. And I try to listen to them as best I can, while still believing in the parts of me that remind me of my new strengths.

Things are going OK. We've been able to offer support, and it's felt like we have been genuinely helpful.

New Enterprise

As I listen to my mom learning how to run my dad's business, I learn more about what a remarkable person he was. I guess now we'd call him a "solo-preneur." He would shrug at that and respond "If you say so."

Every night when I chant, there's a section of closing prayers where I reflect on my current desires. For the last couple of years, it was to demonstrate to myself and others that I could be healthy again. My hope was that people in similar situations could take this as inspiration to help themselves. This is a very concrete wish; I have many people around me who experience nervous system / trauma / whatever disorders like I do, and I really want them to find their own ways to live well.

As I've gathered strength over the past months, this prayer changed by itself. At first, whenever I asked myself what I desired, I got a big "shrug emoji" from my mind. However, over the last month or so, I've felt myself wanting to start a business.

I have no idea why. I'm scared that starting a business may put my health at risk. But part of me also has a strong desire to go with the flow of life, and right now it feels like our economy desires new enterprise.

I used to fight everything, and now I feel like I want to stay in tune with these changes in the world around me.

But I have another feeling, a more spiritual one.

My dad is fading away. In most ways, he is already gone. I've mourned him in small increments for the last five years as his mental faculties have changed.

I kind of feel motivated by him, now. I always had an open invitation to join his business, but it never felt right. I don't know that we would have been great colleagues. But now that he's leaving us, it feels like some energetic space has opened in our family to be more enterprising, like him. My mom certainly feels it. I do too.

I have five concrete business ideas that I want to evaluate. My first desire is to learn and test a practical method for assessing of the viability and impact of a business before starting it. I want to learn how to do this, even if poorly.

I think my nervous system and I can do it. And if not, well—it's not the end of the world.

What if it works?

My stretch desire is to start these businesses, and grow them to the point that I can transfer ownership to a young person. At this stage of my life, I have a strong desire to guide youth into opportunties to lead from the front. It's the part of my faith practice that I gravitate most towards, and I want to live it as much as I can.

According to my chanting picture, I should soon be embodying wisdom, courage, and fortune. Maybe by the time I approach "congratulations", I'll have something to report. But regardless, once I get there, I'll be starting from the beginning again.