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The sun arced downwards over an expanse of green treetops, so densely packed that from Laana's vantage point they appeared as a vast field. High above the forests, seated on top of the cliffs that marked the boundary between rainforest and mountain, the whole world opened out. Laana was reminded once more of tales of nichelings gifted flight, and though she had never met such a creature she imagined she could leap into the open skies and join them. The echoes of the abyss were usually still these days, but every so often she remembered them - in dreams, or here, watching over the whole world.
Instinctively she kept her body low, so that her silhouette would not stand out against the sky. She and her companions had spent the better part of the day climbing these cliffs, retracting their steps from memory. After days of fleeing through the rainforest's close cover, the five nichelings of what had come to be called the Meadow Tribe felt that their ordeal was at last over. No more would they have to startle at footsteps in the night whilst hidden in insect-ridden swamps, hoping to stay safe for one more night. Laana could see it in her tribemates, see the shifts in their posture, hear the tones of their voices. Yet she knew better than to celebrate. -It has yet to begin-, she thought, before wondering whose thought it had been.
And yet... deep within, it was as though a cold wind blew through her gems, clearing away the residue of ages. The cave, and all that had gone on within its depths, were distant as a dream, yet the world still appeared to her in sharp focus, every leaf and birdsong a thing of overwhelming beauty. When she gazed out over the treetops, she thought of the Taimerans on their trail, and yet at the same time she saw a world so vast that no matter how big her fears, they would vanish like a drop of blood in the ocean. She had known this feeling many times over her life, yet this time she felt herself still being moulded into something new.
-I should fear that-, she thought. -But it does not feel like something to fear-. A cold wind blew from the distant peaks, funnelled by tree-lined slopes. It ruffled her coat as she watched over the forest, and it smelled of earth and ice. The seasons changed starkly in this new land - below lay humid depths that would never know the freeze, whilst winter closed in above. Laana, too, had never known true winter. But she remembered the cold winds of the mountain valleys, and she knew, as surely as she knew one paw from the other, that even now it crept downhill.
She rose to meet it. The wind tugged at her fur as she wove her way through the pines, her paws sinking deep into a clear-scented carpet of fallen needles. It spoke at the edge of hearing, made sounds that bypassed her ears and struck deep at her gems. -Come home-, it whispered.
-Soon. Soon, I will-. But for now her tribemates waited under the cover of the trees. Golden sun fell upon the ground in shafts, cut apart by branches overhead. In the distance, Anameis gnawed at the remains of a rabbil that she'd snatched from the undergrowth, while Rara cracked open some nuts and Kirro and Iskome, having dug up some roots, were now lapping at the stream - the same stream they had followed on their first journey. Rara looked up at Laana's approach, and it was not lost upon Laana the way her eyes darted to her gems. Rara may have kept the secret of her own many-coloured gems close, but even she could not help staring at the pearly stones set in Laana's chest. Sometimes, even with the wind calling to her, Laana forgot they had changed. But she only had to look at everyone else's reactions to know nothing was the same again.
Still... -I am still me-, she had told them, nights ago. Who -me- was, now, that was another question, but like all things, one she trusted would become apparent in time.
But Rara was only so given over to wonder. "Any sign of them?" she said.
"Could you see anything under those trees?" Laana said. Rara tilted her head slightly. Wonder-struck or not, Laana's tribemates still found themselves taken aback when she didn't start rambling and prophesying. "They -will- come. I know that. But we are safe if we keep moving." Even Laana wasn't sure if that was a prophecy, or common sense, but it was good advice either way.
Licking water droplets from their whiskers, Kirro and Iskome drew closer. Rara grunted slightly, drawing her claws through the pine needles. The last of the venom had left her body days ago, and it didn't take a seer of sea, snow, or any other domain to know she itched to atone for her inability to act in the caves. And then, there was Anameis...
The orange nicheling continued to gnaw at the remains of her kill as Laana spoke, but then looked up, chunks of flesh still hanging from her whiskers. Her tail lashed over the ground, but then again, Anameis was rarely still. "Then let's go!" she said. "What are you wasting daylight for?" She cracked a bone in two, working out the marrow with her tongue before getting up.
Laana wasn't hungry. She rarely was after watching Anameis eat, but these days, when she trod the world lightly, it took time for her to remember it should be a concern. But she had eaten earlier, and Anameis was right.
It was with mixed spirits that the five nichelings struck out along the river, and Laana felt it deeply. Still the cold winds called her back to the warmth of the tribe, to those they had left behind, to those they missed. But what they had left in the forest, that would not let itself be forgotten, either, though for now it remained buried.
They were going home. But, in their mission, they had failed.
---
Over the next few days, Laana and her companions ascended as the temperature fell. The nights grew colder, forcing them to dig out shallow scrapes and curl up together to keep warm as they slept. After the third such night, they awoke to a crystalline dusting of frost upon the trees, a glittering, ephemeral skin laid upon the world. The nichelings, none of which had seen snow except for the distant peaks above the mountain meadows, sniffed at it, marvelling at the way it vanished under the heat of their breath. It was not true snow, but it promised snow to come, a sign they would soon be home.
Wonders aside, though, they were still creatures of the wild. Even if none of them had seen a frosty morning in their lives, a deep instinct told them finding food was even more important than ever before. Berry bushes wouldn't bear fruit in this weather, but there were still roots to dig up and nuts to crack, and rabbils venturing forth for a mouthful of grass, if you could spot their white coats against the world's wintery new guise. When winter came for real it would be tough, but Laana knew they would manage - and surely Kois would know what to do.
The thought of Kois sent a jolt of unease through Laana's stomach as she nibbled at a fat, earthy scented root. She had tried not to think of the hybrid nicheling in so long...
As she turned back to the food, Rara's claws dug into the ground. Immediately the big grey nicheling had sat up, ears pricked, and the others followed suit. Laana's ears swivelled back and forth, catching the sound of paws over frosted ground. There was no scent, only ice and pine needles, the intruder approaching downwind...
Anameis whirled around, facing downhill. An eyeblink later, Rara bounded forth. Laana, frozen, caught sight of a white furred face emerging from a tangle of briars, framed by spiral shaped black horns - and a gasp cut the air as Rara lashed out with one paw. The creature - the nicheling? - stumbled, but Laana saw no more as Rara blocked her view, and heard only the crack of her powerful jaws delivering the final bite.
"Rara..."
"Ramfox," Rara said, nonchalant. She hefted up the corpse, dragging it into their circle. The head of what Laana had first taken to be an intruding nicheling hung limp from a broken neck as Rara dropped it at her paws. Ramfoxes were a common sight in the mountains, enough that Laana had grown familiar with them in her short time here and knew to guard their food when their scent blew on the wind. They didn't talk as a bearyena would; they weren't -people-, as far as she knew. But they still looked enough like nichelings, disturbingly so with their chests devoid of gems, that for a moment she shivered and could not blame the wind. "Plenty of meat on that," Rara went on. "Better it than us, right?"
Kirro and Iskome sniffed the warm body. Rara was right, first impressions aside. Either they ate, or the ramfox did. Such was winter, and they all knew it.
Then what was wrong?
Steam rose and curled in the chill morning air as Rara tore the ramfox's side open with one wrench of her neck. She dug in, and slowly Kirro and Iskome shook off their initial surprise to join in the feast. Laana's nose twitched at the sharp scent of fresh meat. She -could- use something more substantial than a few roots.
Anameis, meanwhile, hadn't moved.
She crouched, tail bristling, ears flat and hackles raised. For a heartbeat Laana thought her still shocked by the ramfox's sudden intrusion, but she didn't move even as Laana shook off her own surprise and approached the carcass. When she did speak, her voice was high and strained. "You thought it was one of..."
"Think yourself lucky it wasn't," Rara said, a pleased growl backing up her words.
"And if it was?" Anameis' voice was a growl in response, the strain gone. She still crouched with her gems to the ground, but her poise was now that of one ready to spring. Without taking a bite, Laana looked up.
Rara said nothing. Kirro and Iskome, aware of the mounting tension, edged backwards.
"You'd still have done it, wouldn't you?" Anameis said.
For a moment, Rara and Anameis stared one another down over the carcass. A twitch of Rara's ears betrayed a moment of hesitation... hesitation cut short as she grunted in acknowledgement. "You brought me along to keep you safe. That's what I'm doing."
"Rara..." Kirro said, ears slightly flattened.
"She warned you." Rara tilted her head at Laana. Pinning the corpse with one paw, she tore away another chunk of glistening pink flesh. "They'll follow! Do you mean to run like rabbils when they come?" She growled, a deep, rumbling sound that reverberated through the earth and into Laana's paws. A cloud of mist escaped her nostrils as she snorted with restrained rage. "I won't. Not this time."
Iskome backed away, Kirro beside her. Warily, she approached Anameis - who barked in mock-mirth, half cry, half laugh. "Ah, nobody has to worry about that!" Anameis yelled. "Not with you here to save us from -them!-" Her tail lashed faster, scattering pine needles and loose dirt in every direction. "Let's all just go home and not worry about any more nichelings like -me-, shall we?"
"Rara, this is -not- helping!" Iskome said - and flinched back when Anameis thrust her twisted snout into her face.
"What's wrong?" snapped Anameis. "Scared of the big bad Taimeran? You must be, you're always talking about them!" She whiled around to face Laana, their eyes meeting. Her sides heaved, her breath coming in ragged clouds from between mismatched teeth. "So what's the difference? What's the difference between -them- and -me?-"
Nobody spoke.
Anameis glared at each of the others in turn, but still, nobody had anything to say. Kirro and Iskome looked away, unable to meet her gaze, paws scratching the ground. Rara glared back, but was silent as a rock. And Laana...
She hung her head, remembering another time much like this. Perhaps, in a moment or two, she might find her tongue. But before she could gather her thoughts, Anameis lowered her own gaze. Though her coat was still bristling, she suddenly appeared very small. Her tail hung limp across the ground, her head bowed until her nose nearly touched the earth.
"I thought so," she said, her voice once more quiet.
Before anyone could move, she turned tail and loped off into the trees.
"Wait!" Kirro called, but Laana was the one to step forward, positioning herself in front of him as Anameis disappeared.
"Stay here," Laana said. "-All- of you," she added, stressing those last words as her eyes fell upon Rara.
"Running and hiding like the rest of them?" Rara snorted. "I wasn't gong to."
"She's a two-gem," Laana said, voice firm. "And a two-gem who saved all of you. Remember that."
Following Anameis' scent trail, Laana headed deeper into the woods. The others did not follow, much to her relief. It was Laana who had brought all this upon them, first with her deceptions, and then with her clumsy attempts at making amends. Upon her rested the tribe's every weight since crossing the sea. But those were the acts of another nicheling, long ago.
The icy wind tugged at her once more, whispered half-heard words that danced on the verge of meaning, words only she could hear. Anameis' scent trail, fresh and distinctive, led her down a soft slope and back to the river. They had denned the previous night a little way off from its banks, far enough that their resting spot would not be too obvious, but close enough to steal a drink when needed. Lapping at the icy water, surrounded by bare earth still frozen in the rising sun, stood Anameis. As Laana watched, she dunked her head in the water, coming up gasping for freezing air and shaking herself off.
Laana touched her nimble paw to her gems, and slowly crept to the riverside. "Anameis?" Seeing her jump at the intrusion, she carried on. "It's just me. The others won't follow, I made sure of it."
Anameis looked back over her shoulder. Her ears were still flattened, her ruff plastered to her neck and dripping freezing water. Laana crept closer, keeping her profile small and unthreatening. The frozen ground cracked under her paws, her breath a misty cloud in the weak sun. For a moment, neither nicheling spoke or moved... and then Anameis dove at her, stumbled, and pressed the side of her head to Laana's shoulder. Not close enough to touch her gems, but enough to impress her scent onto the older nicheling.
Laana settled into a sitting position, resting her head on Anameis' shoulder, ignoring the cold. Beneath her, Anameis shivered, and she began to groom her ruff, not caring that it smelled of oil and dirt. Anameis breathed out, strained through crooked teeth, and, finally, broke the silence.
"We lost, didn't we?"
-Perhaps-, came a thought unbidden. -Perhaps not-. But Laana did not voice it. They were alive, and free, and on their way home, and in these facts she had stood. Yet for now, Anameis spoke the truth. They returned home, but what had they to show for it? "It's not your fault," she whispered, licking gently around Anameis' ears. Anameis let out a purr so faint the winds drowned it out, and only by their closeness could Laana feel it. How long had it been since someone had curled around her and groomed her pelt?
The winds flowed on down the mountain, and in an instant Laana felt all that those around her must feel. Anameis, who not days ago had been trapped in a life beyond her control. Rara, trapped and frustrated, unable to protect the friends she had made a promise to. Kirro and Iskome, powerless to watch their friends fall under Relare's paws. Relare herself, her grief and fear stretched until they snapped. And Laana's own losses, driving her to cheat and deceive. Pain feeding upon pain in endless loops, as surely as one generation brings forth the next. She closed her eyes, let it wash over her, let herself feel it fade again.
The forest was still. Ahead, a bluebird wheeled, watching the nichelings from afar before vanishing in search of easier prey.
"She thinks I'm not one of them," Anameis said. By now she had slumped into a laid out position, and Laana lay by her side, so that each nicheling rested her head on the other's back. "You all do. All talk like there's no Taimerans here. Like we're just going to go and leave them... and you said they were your -friends...-"
-They look up to you-. This was the point, Laana knew, where she should step up to her new responsibility, comfort the shivering two-gem, speak the perfect words to help ease all she had seen and done... and there were none.
She spoke the only words she had. "I don't know what we're going to do."
"You don't?" Anameis lifted her head.
"I'm sorry."
Anameis' ears perked. "Least you're not pretending! Had enough of plans for now..."
"-Your- plan was very brave, I hope you know," Laana said. "There'll be a story told about it, worthy of Tata. Rara knows it, and I made sure."
"What did you do, tell her off?"
"Well... yes."
Anameis threw back her head and barked in amusement. "I should have stayed behind to see her face!" Laana purred in return, but then Anameis' ears drooped again as she gazed off in the distance, the echoes of her call fading away. "Wish I hadn't done it, though..."
"I think," Laana said, "we all have things we wish we hadn't done."
Silence fell upon them again as they settled back down, each mulling over the other's words. Had this happened to all of them? Were the Kirro, Iskome, and Rara that waited back at the scrapes the same Kirro, Iskome and Rara that set out a turn of the moon ago?
"I just want to go home," Anameis said, after a while. It was a reigned announcement, and behind the words, Laana heard so much more unspoken. -Go home, and do something. But first go home, for you can do nothing now.-
"Then that's what we'll do," Laana said, and nuzzled at Anameis' flank.
Soon, they would have to move. The mountain waited to be scaled, the others waited at the scrapes, and the future loomed, as impenetrable as an early morning mist. But for now, they remained. It was, after all, only the first days of winter.
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