gemini://gem.lizsugar.me/2024/03/16/wound-up.gmi

Today, Saturday March 16th, my wife and I made a massive push to reorganize and recable our entertainment center. Video, audio, routing, position of consoles and network equipment, we went all out. She even made custom length ethernet cables for some of the devices. It's gorgeous. It's versatile. It's modular. Why did two IT-minded women take a year to do this? lol, it's done now

It took all afternoon and evening. Surprisingly, my heart didn't get overworked, it stayed within some relatively acceptable BPM ranges. In fact, my energy kept increasing throughout the night, to the point that now I am Wound Up at nearly 2am. Which has me terrified. I've decided to come to the kitchen island to write, have decaf coffee, and listen to Mario & Zelda Big Band Live CD by The Big Band of Rogues. It's familiar, relaxing, calming. I need to do this because I am going to CRASH hard tomorrow, and I need as much sleep as possible to mitigate that.

I found myself moving from happiness and excitement at rediscovering old Wii U games (which prompted me to purchase the Definitive Edition of Hyrule Warriors (originally Wii U) for Switch, so that I could get all the DLC and play in bed), to melancholy and a deep longing for my old college friends.

I laid there in bed imagining what a reunion would be like. Me and my wife, meeting C and his current boyfriend and P and his wife A. C and P were my best friends in college. We spent so much time together and talked about everything. I miss them so terribly much, but I don't know why that came to surface now. I wish them to meet the real me. I want to show them how happy I am. I want to show them how much love I have for my wife. I want to share with them my new hardships with my longcovid. I want them in my life again.

Why? I've gone so long without them. Why now? Was today just an emotionally charged day after a bunch of successful teamwork with my wife and nostalgia excitement? Why them? Why not an ex? Because they never hurt me I guess. Because I was already in nostalgia mode I guess. I don't know.

I don't know where I'm going with this post. Just, writing something, getting things out. I was crying silently and tearfully in bed, she asked me what was wrong, and I just didn't have the heart to keep her up with this. She's so worn out from the day. Why aren't I?

Also, joint pain in my hands has been way up this past week, so that's no fun at all.