gemini://gem.hack.org/mc/log/2023-12-15.gmi

"Dress up like a slightly conservative IT management guy! That will make it easier to cross the US border." That was what a friend said. I actually considered it for a while.

But no, I couldn't really bring myself to do that. I mean, I don't *have* to wear a t-shirt with Chaos Computer Clubs' Rote Armee Fraktion-inspired Sterntastatur on it, but to go so far as to pretend to be something else entirely? Instead, I went like this:

(Mirror image of a white, bald man with a white goatee in black denim jacket, black t-shirt and black denim trousers with a key chain. Eyes looking down, so no eye contact.)

That was unexpectedly easy, but I guess CBP at SFO see a lot of slightly gothy nerds?

I went to the US on Oct 8 from Copenhagen to San Francisco to attend the Open Source Firmware Conference (OSFC) on Oct 10-12 in Sunnyvale.

(OSFC badge saying "Speaker" and handwritten by me, "MC".)

I couldn't sleep at all on the 11 hours on the plane. Luckily, I wasn't the one driving the rental from SFO to Mountain View. That would have been bad, not just because I don't have a driver's license.

We lived in an unnecessarily expensive (650 USD/night!) but not very luxurious hotel in Mountain View. We stayed there for an extra two nights before the conference to figure out our jetlag (didn't work) and to plan and rehearse a little (better).

The actual conference was quite good. Got to meet a lot of interesting people and had interesting conversations. Some good talks as well.

Unfortunately we mostly saw something like this, but that isn't uncommon in cases like this:

(Conference room with a view of people from behind. They're all sitting in chairs in front of a podium with a presentation going on.)

The catering wasn't able to arrange food for me all the days. Being vegan with a soy allergy isn't easy. Eris knows I had been worried about it myself. Some nice googlers brought me to a Google employee restaurant for lunch a couple of times (thanks again, Chris and Ana!).

"US Cyber Trust Mark", something like the EU CRA, but a consumer marking of products, among other things guarantees about software updates and what this means for firmware developers and manufacturers. I didn't know this was coming in the US. Might be good, at least for consumers.

"Tamago & Tinygo: working with firmware and kernel written in Go". Good walkthrough on how you can actually use Go at this low level. Even the BBC Microbit 2 with just 128 kB is now supported by TinyGo! Promising for a future attempt at bringup of Go on the TKey. Got to talk to the speaker, Ron Minnich, both before and after his talk.

"Unplugging the debugger: Live and post-mortem debugging in a remote system". Extremely ambitious handling of remote debugging of the Hubris operating system, both kernel and processes, on the top of rack box in an Oxide rack.

"When boot security goes wrong". Very brave presentation about how a Chromebook model secure boot perhaps wasn't.

Dayjob boss Sasko held a talk with a short update on the TKey. One of our founders held a longer talk about authentication of transparent systems, the next level of the System Transparency project. I don't think the room really got that one. Admittely he was kind of all over the place with the talk.

(White guy with blue shirt and black trousers on the podium in the main OSFC room gesticulating while talking. Backdrop says "Welcome! And something about "Open Source".)

I held a workshop about software development for the TKey, focusing mainly on a code walkthrough on both a client and a device app, the tkey-sign command (before the refactoring I did later) and the corresponding signer. My colleague dehanj was supposed to do it with me but got sick and had to stay at the hotel!

I think the workshop went quite well. Had a very enthusiastic audience of about 15 people who had a lot of good questions. Had some nice discussions afterwards as well.

All the talks should be available on the web site. Unfortunately the workshops weren't recorded.

(Table with dev boards of different sizes lying on parade.)

I got an old Thinkpad x230 with Coreboot! I don't know yet if it has patched EC firmware. Might be a problem if not, because then I can't use third party batteries, and probably no way of patching it?

(Closeup of the keyboard on a Thinkpad x230, but it's not actually an x230 keyboard.)

There was also an evening trip to Oxide Computer Company in Emeryville but by that time I was so tired and stressed out that I just noped out and tried to sleep instead. It would have been interesting to visit Oxide but I just couldn't do it.

Didn't see a lot of Mountain View and Sunnyvale. What I saw were mostly business park office buildings. Very boring. Not that downtown Mountain View, if there even is such a thing, was much better.

(Incredible drab office building with some OSFC flags at the front door.)

(CW: Eye contact. Two very geeky persons with glasses, one in blue jeans and grey sweater, one all in black. Both have backpacks and goodie bags. They stand in front of a Silicon Valley office building with some flags and signs in front.)

After OSFC I needed something completely different, so I spent a long weekend in San Francisco.

I went by double-decker train from Sunnyvale to SF directly after OSFC concluded. That was fine but a little slow. This, it seems, is a trend with US trains.

I took the Muni from the station to the Haight. I sat on the Muni tram re-reading Gibson's Virtual Light when I saw the lights of the Bay Bridge in the darkness! I giggled with excitement.

I stayed at Stanyan Park Hotel, right next to Golden Gate Park.

(Front of a Victorian building with a sign saying "No vacancy".)

The first thing I did was get a pizza and a beer that I brought to the room:

(A small pizza, a beer can, and a bag of crisps on a victorian desk.)

This being SF there's not just a Gideonite bible by the bed:

(A drawer containing the bible and another book with the title "The teaching of the Buddha".)

The hotel TV greeted me with the great but slightly embarassing "The Lost Boys":

(A slightly bearded Kiefer in black clothes and a mullet smiling on the TV. Very yellow wall paper behind the TV.)

But hey, it's Kiefer Sutherland! I felt very welcome.

The hotel was in a really nice neighbourhood and I just loved the huge park, its ravens, the many squirrels, and, surprisingly, parrots!

In the Haight I especially liked the Bound Together anarchist bookstore and, just across the street, the Magnolia brewpub, named after the 70's burlesque artist with the wonderful name Magnolia Thunderpussy. Coffee to the People was nice, too, as well as the Science Fiction bookstore Borderlands.

I bought a t-shirt and the latest Cometbus zine at Bound Together. As you can probably guess, Cometbus is really hard to get a hold of in Sweden.

(Blonde woman in short white tank, blue jeans holding a sign saying "I heart Aaron Cometbus".)

(Stuff on a bathroom floor: a t-shirt, three books, parts of my black socks.)

I walked around some in SF, not just Haight and the park. I took the Muni downtown, walked through Chinatown to North Beach, just looking at things.

(Street crossing. On the other side a very thin corner on a Victorian house in green and white. Behind it SF skyscrapers.)

(A white house with chinese characters and what looks like the Taiwanese flag on a flag pole.)

(A crossing with low houses with chinese signs. In the background a famous SF scryscraper.)

My goal was really City Lights Books, the original beatnik bookstore and publisher.

(A building with a sign saying "City Lights Booksellers & publishers".)

I found some nice Gary Snyder at City Lights, paid and then went across Kerouac Street (Yes! Really!) to the equally legendary Vesuvio bar for a beer or two. I sat at a table reading Gary's lovely translation of the amazing buddhist Tang dynasty poet 寒山/Hánshān: "Cold Mountain Poems". I've read them before in different translations but I like Gary's the most.

(Gary Snyder's "Riprap", which includes "Cold Mountain Poems" on a table with a glass of beer next to it.)

My old colleague Sean met up one evening and showed me around in the office building he works in. Wonderful view of the Bay bridge. Their cool speakeasy rooms were a nice surprise but I was slightly saddened by their superficial "Zen room".

(View of the Bay Bridge and a lot of water, as seen from a terrace high above street level.)

We went on a pub crawl, starting with Fort Point by the ferry. This was the first time I noticed that kölsch beer (Fort Point's KSA) is a thing in California. I later saw that again in Magnolia's Kali Kolsch. Both quite nice. Of course they pronounced it wrong, but it was good.

We then went on to Zeitgeist, a very alternative biergarten, with the nice Tom Waits-inspired motto "Warm beer, cold women". Haha.

I couldn't help myself looking at the beautiful redhead in black at the next table. When she noticed she met my gaze and split into a wonderful smile. She left with her friends later and nothing happened, but it was... interesting. Sean said something like "Oh, you liked *her* alright!" I guess I'm kind of obvious like that.

Then it hit me... I have never experienced so much flirting! Just walking down the street in the Haight... Wow. Standing in a bar. Wherever. Eyes linger, people smile, come up and talk to you. Californian women? Or just alternative Californian women? Or American women? Was it like this on my visit to Seattle in 2017, too? Did I just forget?

Next we went and got Mission style burritos, then on to the Toronado bar to finish the night. I walked from there to the hotel. Worked out fine.

Another night I went to the Hubba hubba revue's burlesque show "Vampires!" at DNA Lounge. Of course I have to experience JWZ's DNA Lounge when in SF, right? And see the phone!

(An american payphone covered in stickers in neon light. Beside it is a painted mannequin with some shibari going on.)

The show was nice and very body positive. I especially liked the finishing act with both a man and a woman. But what's up with the single-serve plastic glasses at DNA?

Again, a lot of beautiful people smiled and let their gaze linger. Really flattering. One brunette in particular did a double take when she saw me and then smiled hugely. Double take? Did she recognize me? Do I have a Californian doppelgänger? Perhaps you get something looking a little bit like me if you combine sfslim and mediapathic, two known Bay Area goths?

I was standing on the second floor next to the mixing console at DNA. After a while I was surrounded by burlesque performers, most of them still in their outfits, or, well, sometimes almost no outfit. That was unexpected, but nice.

The next day I had to work. The nice people at the hotel let me check my luggage and sit in the lounge and work on my laptop. I also prepared for the next leg of my journey by buying some food to bring along.

Met up with my friend Ian at the vegan restaurant Rad Radish and had a pizza, then I needed to find somewhere to stay for a while waiting for the connecting bus. I found Louie's, a sort of upscale dive bar, in the FiDi. Surprisingly nice, considering the location.

Amtrak's connecting bus goes from right in front of Chase Bank in FiDi. Strange location for a bus to the train station in Emeryville, perhaps, but it felt rather safe, and was just a few minutes from Louie's. Walking from Rad Radish to Louie's at the edge of Tenderloin felt much less safe.

When I arrived at the bus stop some people were already waiting. Everyone looked up when I arrived. A beautiful alternative girl (AG) then smiled and even waved a little. I thought she maybe misstook me for someone else. The doppelgänger strikes again? Or was she just really friendly?

Stupidly, I didn't even talk to her and instead respectfully stood some way away. I mean, we could have just talked. Might have made a less lonely journey. But it was such a strange situation. I didn't want to appear creepy or threatening. I feel like a monster often enough as it is.

The bus took us to Emeryville Station, then we had to wait for over an hour and a half for the train. The journey didn't start that well. I read some more in Cometbus #59 and had a roof over my head, so it wasn't all bad. Also, AG and I kept sharing glances.

Then, at last, we were on Amtrak's Coast Starlight Superliner to Seattle! Huge double-decker train with twin diesel locomotives. I was expecting 21 hours on the train. As I said, trains in the US are slow and, for some reason, freight trains have priority? How backwards!

I still had a lot to discover in SF, but I was happy with my four days there. I wanted to visit my friend Roberth in PNW as well while I was in the US.

SF is a really interesting and nice place, except for the very obvious problem that a lot of people there don't get the help they need. Lot of unhoused people. Lots of drug problems.

I managed to sleep some on the train. Surprisingly there was a lot of legroom in coach and you could tilt the seat way back, even turn up a little leg rest.

When I woke up the sun was coming up over foggy Oregon mountains and rivers without end (see what I did?). I was surrounded by some Amish or Mennonite families in traditional clothing. They spoke a strange, almost understandable German with a lot of American loanwords. It was really interesting to try to understand what the 20-something daughters said. AG was sleeping in the seat in front of me.

When AG woke up some time later the Mennonites were gone, probably in the observation car or perhaps they managed to sneak into the first class dining car for breakfast. AG looked around a little, met my eyes over her tilted back seat, smiled again, and then took off her t-shirt! She quickly put on another but, uh..., that was interesting. A lot of skin, no bra. Obviously a very relaxed person. I was clearly not perceived as a threat.

Not too many crazies on the trip. Some guy went back and forth a lot until the conductor had had it and figured out that they had forgot where they were sitting. Or maybe didn't belong on the train at all. Another guy came through the car a couple of times praying loudly. But that was all.

We were actually a little early to Seattle! The train made up for being late to Emeryville. Amazing, considering how slow it was.

Roberth picked me up by car in Seattle and on the way home we bought take away burritos. Not as good as in SF but acceptable. I mean, it was a burrito!

When we got home to R I slept for nine hours and woke up before the alarm clock. That was amazing! Dreamt a lot. Finally. I missed dreaming.

This was not like the other nights in the US. Had a lot of trouble falling asleep, typically four-five hours of just tossing around, trying to sleep. I got something like four hours of sleep per night during most of the visit. Not good, not good at all.

I worked from R's for a couple of days, but didn't manage to get a lot done. Very stressed, nervous, and tired. Managed some PR reviews and worked some on the next talk.

On Friday it was time for my talk at Microsoft! I was really nervous. R looked up how many people had signed up. 54 people! Including people from Research. Wow. He was surprised, too. In the end something like 30+ showed up, all of them, besided R and me, were remote! That was also unexpected. I could have done this from home!?

We both thought the talk went well. Phew! I mean, I was explaining things about DICE-like measured boot to some of the people who invented it!

We went to Canon for cocktails to celeberate. 5000 bottles in the house! Wow. And, haha, chilled Chartreuse on tap! I just had to have one. Gothiest bar ever? But the very fancy I.W. Harper bourbon (was it the 15 year-old?) was better.

During my stay in Seattle we also went to The Pine Box bar, the old mortuary turned bar! What's not to like!? Of course I also visited the Anarchist bookshop Left Bank Books at Pike Place. I bought a t-shirt and the latest 2600 and paid with a lot of tips. A lot. Like a small donation, I suppose.

Saturday we met up with our old net.friend Caitlin from Future Culture and her husband at Cafe Flora. Meeting Caitlin AFK was like continuing a conversation that started online a very long time ago. I think I joined in 1992 and C in 1993? We had never met before! This led to a flurry of messages between me and C later that keeps on going.

When I went to fetch more beers for us at a pub we ended up at later, a young woman in all black at the bar again did that double-take and smiled a lot. This happened a few times in Seattle. Not just alternative Californian women, then?

On Sunday I left for Sweden again, going SEA-ORD-CPH. Four hours to Chicago with about 2 hours there, then about 8 hours more. While changing planes in Chicago I managed to lose my black overcoat. Another sacrifice to Eris. The last one was my hat on the previous trip to the US. Perhaps that's necessary for a safe transatlantic flight?

Managed to sleep perhaps just 1:30 hours so I was quite tired when I arrived at home. Really don't like long flights!

The week after was a case of quite serious post-travel blues. I didn't even know this was a thing and that it had a name. Not a great week. Feeling sad, guilty, and restless to the point of thoughts of self-harm. Not good. Yeah, considering it's me, something like this can probably strike from nowhere at any time.

Spent a lot of time in a nostalgic mood, searching for and reading old e-mail messages. Not always good. Example quote (translated): "the time with you was the worst in my life" reminding me about a very... frustrating relationship. On the other hand I also found a lot of sweet messages.

All the stress and little sleep also took somatic expressions. I had awful neck pain that stayed for weeks. My old beard ecsema also flared up so I had to shave most of it off.

(CW: Eye contact. Unhappy bald white man in a black t-shirt standing in a bathroom. Just a little piece of white beard left. Red chin from ecsema.)

On the other hand #3 says I look a lot younger now. That's something, I guess.

The cottage kitchen renovation still isn't quite finished but we decided to spend some time at the cottage anyway. Slightly complicated with no working stove but we managed with a small portable induction stove. I stayed on for a couple of more days when #3 and P went back to the city. The nature around the cottage can be quite soothing and I think I needed that.

(The lake on a sunny day. In front there are some reed. The sky is reflected in the still water. You can see the other side of the lake.)

(A flat green field with some trees and shadows. Huge white clouds in a blue sky.)

Prickle-Prickle, the 57 day of The Aftermath in the YOLD 3189