# The Art of Writing Textfiles => http://textfiles.com/100/arttext.fun found here Yes, I was on lobste.rs today and yes, I found textfiles.com and yes, I thought this /particular/ text file was pretty on-brand for the whole 'experiment' of gemini. Thought I'd provide a running commentary, from 2020 to 198?. ``` +^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+ ^+ +^ +^ THE ART OF WRITING TEXTFILES ^+ ^+ +^ +^ WRITTEN BY: ^+ ^+ THE BRONZE RIDER +^ +^ HOME BASE: THE PRISM BBS/AE/CF ^+ ^+ +^ +^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+ THIS FILE IS OBVIOUSLY ABOUT WRITING T-FILES. TO WRITE A T-FILE, YOU NEED THESE THINGS: ``` Okay, first things first. "T-files?" Why isn't that still a thing we call them? I hereby petition that we start calling all t-files t-files. ``` 1. YOU NEED AN APPLE //E OR //C WITH UPPER & LOWER CASE... (USING A II+ IS REALLY A PAIN.) AN APPLE ISN'T NECESSARY, BUT REAL TEXTFILE WRITERS DONT USE ANYTHING BUT THE BEST... ``` It's funny how Apple still corners the market on insufferable tech-bros. ``` 2. YOU NEED AN 80 COLUMN CARD. ``` I'm guessing this is like, a punch card? I honestly don't even know. ``` 3. YOU NEED THE ABILITY TO STRETCH OUT WHAT YOU ARE TRYING TO SAY SO THAT THE FILE TAKES LONGER TO V)IEW AND TAKES UP MORE DISK SPACE. A TEXTFILE SHOULD BE AT LEAST 15 SECTORS, BUT ITS BEST IF ITS OVER 20. EXAMPLE: YOU WANT TO SAY: WRITING T-FILES IS A PAIN... IN A T-FILE YOU WOULD SAY IT LIKE THIS: WRITING A TEXTFILE IS A VERY TIME-CONSUMING AND ARDUOUS TASK. IT TAKES A LOT OF THOUGHT AND IS VERY WEARING ON A PERSON. IT IS NOT AT ALL EASY. AND THEN YOU ELABORATE ON WHAT YOU JUST SAID. ``` Still great advice, especially for college students. ``` 4. YOU NEED THE ABILITY TO LOOK AT THE SCREEN AND KNOW EXACTLY WHERE THE CENTER IS SO THAT YOU CAN CENTER GARBAGE. EX. ->VVVVVVVVV<- -> GARBAGE <- ->^^^^^^^^^<- I DON'T HAVE THAT ABILITY, BUT SOMETIMES I GET LUCKY. ``` Here's an example of fantastic tone from The Bronze Rider. Also, how has centering stayed pretty much (a) just as hard to do and (b) just as garbagey? ``` 5. YOU NEED TO THE ABILITY TO MIX DIFFERENT CHARACTERS IN AN APPEALLING WAY TO MAKE A BORDER FOR THE TITLE. EX. +^+^+^+^+^+^+ ><><><><><><> ^+ HELLO +^ <> HELLO <> +^+^+^+^+^+^+ ><><><><><><> (^^^^^^^^^^^) ) HELLO ( (^^^^^^^^^^^) > THE LOCKSMITH < V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V AND STUFF LIKE THAT. THERE ARE A LOT MORE, BUT THEY'RE HARD TO MAKE ON AN APPLE II+ SINCE A II+ DOESN'T HAVE ALL THE CHARATERS ON THE KEYBOARD. ``` Proof that gemini got one thing right, at least: with full UTF at our fingertips we can have fancier borders! (The symbols still aren't on the keyboard though ... maybe on that 433%-er that was floating around?) ``` 6. YOU HAVE TO HAVE A LOT OF PATIEN�CE. YOU HAVE TO BE ABLE TO TYPE FOR HOURS AT A TIME. IF YOU TYPE FAST ENOUGH, YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT THIS STEP. ``` Still true, though I think even more so for fast typers. ``` 7. IT HELPS IF YOU ARE ONE OF THE NEON KNIGHTS OF METALAND. ><> THOSE GUYS WRITE THE BEST T-FILES <>< ``` I don't know where Metaland is, but I have a feeling it's ... 4-chan. ``` 8. ITS HELPFUL TO HAVE A GOOD WORD PROCESSOR, BUT AE WILL DO THE JOB GOOD ENOUGH. AE HAS ONE OF THE BEST TEXT EDITORS. ``` I don't know what AE is, but I'm sure both vim and emacs were around when this thing was written. Why can't we use those, Bronze Rider? /Why/!? ``` 9. IT HELPS A LOT IF YOU ARE DRUNK AND TO HAVE MUSIC BLASTING IN YOUR EARS IN STEREO. I DON'T KNOW WHY, BUT THATS JUST THE WAY IT WORKS. ``` Still true. It's like people are basically the same as they've always been. ``` WRITE A TEXT FILE AND GIVE IT TO SOMEONE ELSE WITH A MODEM, BUT THATS KIND OF A PAIN. ``` We've definitely improved in this area, however! ``` NOW HERE IS A LIST OF NON-NECESSITIES: 1. CONTRARY TO POPULAR BELIEF, YOU DON'T HAVE TO SPEEL STUPH RITE. SPEELINK ERRURS AR VARY COMON. ``` Even /more/ true now, if I do say so myself. Fun fact: the little textbox I'm typing this into on Firefox, to post to gemlog.blue, is correcting my spelling as I type. Like, people have no excuse any more. But still. The spelling. ``` 2. YOU DON'T NEED A 1200 BAUD APPLE-CAT UNLESS YOU REALLY KNOW HOW TO STRETCH OUT WHAT YOU ARE TRYING TO SAY. USUALLY ANY 300 BAUD MODEM WILL WORK FINE. ``` Oh thank god. The Internet is for the Common People! ``` 3. YOU DON'T NEED TO KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT WHAT YOU ARE WRITING YOUR TEXTFILE ABOUT IF YOU CAN MAKE IT UP AS YOU GO ALONG. ``` Still true, but not even in the 2020, "News is shit now" way. Ever heard of the headlight method of novel writing? ``` 4. YOU DON'T NEED TO BE A -REAL PIRATE-, BUT IT HELPS. YOU ALSO DON'T -HAVE- TO BE STONED, BUT IT HELPS. ``` Cf. the (sadly now-defunct) stoned.txt files on tilde.black. Did somebody download those before they were gone? ``` 5. AND YOU DEFINATELY DON'T NEED A HIGH I.Q., BUT I HEAR THAT IT HELPS. ``` Any more, I don't know if it /does/ help. ``` (^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^) )! !( (! CALL THESE AWESOME BBS'S, AE'S, AND CF'S... !) )! !( (! THE PRISM BBS/AE/CF 300/1200 BAUD 10 MEG ....... (201)-637-6715 !) )! THE METAL AE - PASSWORD:KILL .................... (201)-879-6668 !( (! THE CORELINE BBS ................................ (201)-239-7737 !) )! THE DRAGON'S WEYR BBS 10 MEG ................... (201)-992-0834 !( (! LATER, THE BRONZE RIDER... !) )! � !( (^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^)  ``` Do these numbers still even work, I wonder? Maybe when I get home I'll try calling them with ... my cellphone, lol. gemini://gem.acdw.net:1965/raw/2020-09-23-The-Art-of-Writing-Textfiles

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