Being bad at water skiing

I had some distant relatives who were pretty well off (and may still be, but I haven't seen them for many years). As a child, I once went to stay for a few days. They had a speed boat and some water skis, and they took me out on a river estuary.

Now I'm not a sporty person, but I'm happy to have a go. I noticed that they had wet suits, whereas I had a small pair of swimming trunks. But the water wasn't all *that* cold. I sat in the boat as it pulled along their son, who was about my age. He could stand up on the skis and turn, but he fell over trying to cross the wake of the boat. Then it was my turn.

There I am, sitting in the grey-brown water with the skis poking up in front of me. I have a small bar on the end of a rope, and at the other end of the rope is a boat with a big engine. Soon the boat will start off, and the rope will pull me up on to my feet. Simple, right? From my vantage point barely above the murky choppy water, it occurs to me that water skiing should happen somewhere more exotic, the water should be blue, and the sun should be out. But then the engine roars and the slack in the rope disappears.

I'm not ready for the amount of pull. I go straight over. I'm face down in the water, which is alarming. The water is rushing past, buffeting me about. I have one solid thing, the bar on the rope, and I cling on. But this is exactly the wrong thing to do. It's keeping me face down in the water.

This probably only went on for a few seconds. They stopped the boat, and I realised that two things had happened (besides me making a fool of myself). First, the water had pulled one of the skis off. Second, the water had also pulled down my swimming trunks. They were around one ankle, and I would have lost them altogether but for the remaining ski. I put the trunks back on, glad I'm hidden by the muddy water. The other ski wasn't far away. Sensibly, water skis float.

With both skis on again, I assume the position for a second attempt. This time I'm expecting the force of the pull. Or maybe they just go slower. The skis stay in front of me. But I'm still in a sitting/crouching position. The skis kick up a huge spray, and it goes straight into my face. I'm not going to get naked this time, but I still feel like I'm about to drown. The obvious solution would be to stand up, but I'm not thinking clearly. I learned one thing from the first attempt: I let go.

That was the end of my attempts. I remember that we stopped at KFC on the way home - possibly the only time I ever had that.

Many years later, I tried knee boarding at the National Watersports Centre where you get pulled around by a drag line. First attempt: instant face plant in the water (trunks still on, though). Second attempt: made it a few feet. Third attempt and success. Maybe if there had been a third attempt back then I'd have been an ace water skier, or at least stood up for a moment. Who knows?

#waterskiing

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