Answering my own Questions for October 🤔

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What's the stupidest way you ever hurt yourself?

I could go with one time I fell off a bike...

...but I already recounted that in the stories section.

I did once go over the handlebars of my bike because I was trying to do up the velcro of my hi-viz vest with one hand while pedaling AND changing gear. Instead of the gear lever, my finger got the brake lever. But however stupid that was, I didn't hurt myself because it happened so slowly.

I remember visiting a friend. We planned to cook dinner. He said his mother had a thing about sharp knives, and they had one only because he'd bought it. In the kitchen, there it was, carefully stowed with the blade under a wooden draining board. We smirked. Us young people weren't as daft as those old people. How could you prep veg without a sharp knife?

So you can guess what happened. Almost immediately, I cut my thumb pretty badly. We didn't tell his mother.

You have a coupon for one free thing from a place that sells garden stuff, so what do you take?

I was in a garden centre at the weekend. They had some huge pots that were made to look like they'd been retrieved from an ancient Greek shipwreck. You could have got inside one, like Diogenes. I'm not sure that I'd know what to do with it when I'd got it home.

None of the things Diogenes was said to have done.

When you last used a needle and thread, what were you sewing?

I sewed my initial onto a camp fire blanket. I did a pretty terrible job of it. Before that, the previous time was when I ran out of trousers because they'd all lost the button on their waist band, so I had a button sewing splurge.

What song do you want played at your funeral, and why?

I've told my family to play "20th Century Boy" by T-Rex. It's full of life, which is a nice irony. "Friends say it's fine. Friends say it's good. Everybody says it's just like Robin Hood." Uplifting nonsense. When I hear it, I have a mental picture of huge musicians stepping over buildings to start playing. No idea why.

20th Century Boy on Spotify

For a sadder funeral experience, I'd have "Fareweel Regality" by the Unthanks. It brings a tear even when no one died. If you give it a listen, try singing along with the chorus. "And there's nowt that I can bid yer, but that peace an love gan with yer..."

Fareweel Regality on Spotify

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