You get a little carried away. If anyone mentions that night to you again, you will blame the drink. The truth is, you weren't even that drunk...

This was truly your moment. You'd been rehearsing for this moment, hadn't you? Don't deny it, we've all seen you dancing in the mirror when you think we're not looking. You cutie! Only a few words into the song, and you were already tying your shirt up, just like in the music video, showing off your beautiful flat tummy.

You nailed the choreography. The shimmy was adorable, your twirls were to die for. We'd never seen you looking so confident, so comfortable being yourself! The way you smiled: radiant! And yet, despite obviously having the time of your life, you still captured the desperate, lonely look with your gorgeous eyes - who did your makeup, by the way? Doesn't matter - nobody else could pull it off as well as you did! Every man in that pub wanted to kiss you. I could tell. You could have had any of them, if you wanted to. Oh, and you should have seen the blonde woman near the door, she was SO JEALOUS, her date was DROOLING over you. Don't even get me started on the singing. Okay, fine, one word: AMAZING!

Some people thought you were a woman, some thought you were homosexual. Everyone cheered. The applause, after the final "Hit me baby one more time!" was deafening. Whether to impress you or just to be supportive of your lifestyle, m15o proudly hands you a key to the cellar of The Midnight. You spy the pink-shirted man, beaming at you from the crowd, signalling two thumbs up to you.

Enter the cellar.