Stressed, so I'm going to rant.

I worry that I've become someone who deliberately ignores the world's problems so that they can have peace of mind. This is the person who I feared I would become. I really need to figure out balance, but don't know how to do that.

I really need to get better at concentration and being able to work hard for long periods. Fear that I've killed my brain's ability to do so.

Worried that the therapist is trying to talk to me again.

Need to get in better tune with nature, and spend less time in from of a computer.

Worried I'm just going to do fuck-all over the summer, like I did last year. I want to find some kind of work/job, make a bit of money, want to give a lot of it for charity.

I wonder how my mental health will progress/decline over the summer.

I just don't want anybody to get hurt because of me. I shouldn't be the cause of pain, even if everybody around me has accepted that they are. But I'm not strong enough. I can't make myself for hard for the good of others. All I can do is shitty little virtue signals like holding the door open for people. I'll never get anywhere. I've made so many mistakes, and I fear I can't stop myself from doing them again, or doing worse.