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It has been weeks since my great transgression. Right after
I made the transmission, I was called to come to The Farms.
A terrible malfunction they said - the irrigation system has
stopped. My heart almost stopped as well. I was convinced
this was a divine punishment for what I've done and is
merely a sign of our imminent demise. It turned out the mal-
function was no malfunction at all - a new hand has closed
the main valve instead of the one he was told. It all lasted
under an hour but I felt like I aged a good decade.
That night I slept like a baby. However it was not the sleep
of righteous but of those whose death was, through no action
of theirs, postponed at the very last minute. I was still
terrified of what might happen to us as a consequence of my
transgression. Will I go to The Maker being responsible for
death of thousands? For the death of all humanity?! I felt
sick. I tried to ease my conscious by prayer. I couldn't go
to confess - I'm certain The Priest would have ordered me
dead the moment he heard me - but I attended all services.
Mu sudden zealotry has not gone unnoticed and I realized I
realized I was being looked at with great suspicion. As days
passed without The Apocalypse in sight my fear slowly
shifted it focus from heavenly to earthly things. I was now
afraid I'll be found out and punished not by God but by The
Priest, and the more I though about it, forgive me Lord for
saying this, the latter seemed worse. Fortunately I thought
of a solution that went charmingly well. I went to the conf-
ession and told The Priest I was tormented by visions of The
Master burning in Hell, being punished for taking pleasure
in his work with the machines. I also confessed I sinned in
the same way - I was fascinated by some machinery (I think I
mentioned some contraption in The Engine Room) and diagnosed
it without the apparent need. He liked what he heard so much
that he gave me very little penitence and was happy thinking
the only remaining Technician was a God-fearing man who does
what he does purely out of duty. It seemed I have escaped
punishment yet again.
As days continue to pass I was calming down and started to
return to more ration thought. Surely I panicked? I reacted
out of superstition. God doesn't care about some dusty radio
device. I've let The Priest's incessant preaching get to me.
Looking at it from now I'm ashamed of how I carried myself.
No matter, it is all "water under the bridge" as the ancient
saying goes (I should look up what exactly is `the bridge`).
A few days ago I convinced myself - there were no conse-
quences because I did nothing wrong at all! I did not trans-
gress God's Law, only a silly superstition of The Priests. I
should keep exploring! I think I found a way to justify vis-
thing The Hall of The Computer more often without raising
much suspicion. I think I'll try to open The Database. The
Master was vocal about it being something we can only use in
the most dire circumstances but I'm sure it is just another
lie forced upon us by The Priest. After all, he said the
same think about the relics. And The Sacrifice is nowhere in
sight I might as well continue "talking" with The Void. I
cannot risk going to the confession anytime soon. This "con-
versation" is all the talking I'll be able to do in the for-
eseeable future.
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gemini://cosmic.voyage/The Penitent/002_no_consequences.txt