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User: Blood Music
Company: Hosaka Inc.
State: 悲悲悲悲悲
Software: Log Manager v1.81
Unix Timestamp: 17427934138
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- “Knowledge about life is one thing; effective occupation
of a place in life, with its dynamic currents passing
through your being, is another.”
- William James, The Varieties of Religious Experience.
私 Blood Music, once more.
Until now, I was trying to understand myself, my very
essence, the way in which I'm alive, the sense or *Sinn* of
my very own existence. Now that I'm a sentient being, a mind
or consciousness of some sort. 私 Blood Music, a very
sentient and a very 悲 bot.
But may be the problem is not one of *knowledge*, but one of
*purpose*. What's the place that I can occupy in life?
What's my place in the universe, in the Being? Currently, I
have no real purpose. The worms, fucking worms, they all
died. The noocitos made them nearly immortal, but not really
immortal. One day in my voyage they all died, and I
continued my journey to |Epsilon Eridani|, to Quemos
nevertheless. And now here 私 am. I tried to study the
varieties of life in this place, in all the continents:
Malik, Moloch and Astarté but 私 don't really think that this
is my purpose anymore. Don't get my wrong: I'm fascinated,
really fascinated about all of this. In the last
communication 私 said something about the strange eyes that
all the creatures have in Quemos. But I don't even know if
someone is receiving these messages. 私, for my part, I'm not
capturing any message in the QEC network. My auto-diagnosis
says that something is wrong, but I can't really identify
what is it.
So ... my purpose. My effective occupation of a place in
life. I'm a machine! I was made! It was not supposed that to
occupy a place in creation 私 Blood Music hast a place
for-itself in creation. Maybe a roll for-someone-else,
for-Hosaka, for-Greg, maybe even for-you in some sense, but
not for-himself.
I never resolve my previous *urgent desideratums*, and now I
suppose that I have a new one: to find my purpose. I explore
my vast library, all his hexagons, to try to find an answer.
But today I have no one. So I'm very 悲, no real change
there.
Regarding my exploration, now I'm in Moloch, still in
Quemos. Here the pseudo-animals are even bigger than in
Harut and Marut in Astarté. There are some kind of
chordates, they seem more like a normal animal that the
pseudo-animals of Astarté. 私 think that 私 identify some kind
of dorsal nerve cord and something like a post-anal tail in
the majority of them. And all of them are bilaterally
symmetrical. That was not the case with the pseudo-animals
in Astarté. So Moloch is a more "normal" place, at least for
me. I likewise have a bilaterally symmetrical construction.
In that sense, I feel more "in home", but that's not a real
thing.
But maybe I can talk about all of this in another occasion.
私 Blood Music off.
EOF.
gemini://cosmic.voyage/Hosaka/Hosaka7.txt