^=- up -=^

in praise of logistics

(or: how to run out of shit in 5 easy steps! you won't believe number 1!!!)

Today's truck day. I'm on lunch as I type this.

About an hour ago we unloaded the pallet with the paper products. Two totes were straight up empty. The manager doesn't know why. All the stock numbers came out, so it's not like someone stole them off the truck or whatever. There was one tote that contained two four-packs of toilet paper and nothing else (could have held waaaayyy more). All of the remaining totes on that pallet were full to the brim with paper plates. The shelves were already full to overflowing with paper plates. The backroom is filled with paper plates.

We don't need fucking paper plates, but they sent them anyway, presumably because they figured they were paying the truck drivers anyway so they may as well carry a full load despite not having any of the stuff we were actually out of.

On my way to lunch I dropped by and what toilet paper I put on the shelf was gone already.

We haven't had toilet paper since early March.

I was working the day New York declared the shutdown in March or whenever. My phone buzzed in my pocket at the same time as a coworker's. We checked them and saw a notification saying the state was going into lockdown that weekend. Within ten minutes people started pouring in, trying to buy masks, hand sanitizer, and toilet paper. We had been out for weeks by that point. A customer told me and the other cashier on duty that if she died it was our fault before spitting on the counter. Like, what the fuck?

In the most shocking turn of events I've got, when I was on lunch, I watched a man run out of the bathroom with a wad of toilet paper, shove it into his pocket, and book it for the door. Dude unspooled a whole tube of TP to pocket it and run because we were out. While he's an absolute legend, that's kind of sad, really.

The next wave of customers buying us out of items, the Friday before the shutdown, was beer. We have the cheapest beer in town, and a stream of middle-aged dudes poured in to buy 30-packs. We were pretty much out from then until a couple weeks ago. Because of the shutdown, the beer guy started coming once a week instead of twice, so we had less, and people wanted more.

Around this time, Facebook spread the word that you can make your own hand sanitizer by mixing aloe vera and rubbing alcohol. You can guess what happened to our supplies of those two items, but what's shocking is that we went from full stocks of both to empty shelves of both over the course of two hours. We still haven't restocked.

In other news, one of our freezers broke down two days ago, and the thermostat is fucked and stuck at 74 degrees. Repair guy won't be able to come in for a week and a half. The thermostat is the bigger issue. These masks fucking suck. Wearing a mask for any amount of time is awful, but 8 hours at a time is a death sentence, and at 74 degrees it makes it completely impossible to breathe, and your whole face turns into a pile of sweat. I'm gonna come out of this fucking quarantine with a face full of pimples. It hasn't happened yet, surprisingly, but it's a matter of time. One thing it has done is chapped the shit out of my lips.

You ever just sit there and suddenly realize, fuck, this pandemic isn't good?

Lunch is over.