on blogs

This isn't the first time I've said "I'm going to start up this blog" or whatever. It's happened before. Quite a few times actually. I've got some keybase public tlf markdown blog site thing that I ended up just moving into private because I realized I hadn't updated it since the night I started it. I've had gemini sites scattered all over gemini space since soon after gemini started up. I have accounts on all of the tildes that serve gemini content. I was the first one to sign up for a gemini.circumlunar.space account[1] when solderpunk started offering those. Last time that got updated was me posting my rambling notes from studying for an anatomy + physiology exam a few months ago while wasted. None of these has seen a whole lot of action, at least not at any point after having perfected the ergonomics of posting to it.

[1] my gemini.circumlunar.space user page

I'll set one of these up, and write up a bunch of scripts or whatever to make it really comfy to post to, and then basically just stop posting as soon as that is accomplished.

Well, not this time. This time it's the real deal. This time -- such bullshit, honestly. I don't know whether I'll keep posting here. I hope so. [And after having written the rest of this post, I even _think_ so!]

I would make some brave resolution -- I will make a post here once per day! -- but I know where that goes too. I post once per day for two days, then say "Eh, a day off is fine," then not post again.

I don't know what it is. I think it's a question of mood, or energy, or something.

Maybe I just don't think I have anything worth posting.

Maybe, once I get to a point where I have a perfect system for uploading to my blog, and an empty terrain to post on, it seems like posting would lower it from that state of perfection.

Or maybe I just don't post.

Yet I can't help but feel like there might be some connection between this and the dearth of gemini content about anything but gemini. That's right, I finally did it. I made this piece of content also a piece of gemini content about gemini. Just what the doctor ordered.

But is this how it works for others, too?

Or is it perhaps that we're sitting down and saying "I'm going to write some content for gemini," without any idea of what to write -- forcing it, rather than letting content flow naturally -- and since our internal monologue has just said the word "gemini," that's what we're thinking of? And if so, where in my day or week or whatever can I find Things To Write About?

Now I find myself wondering "uh, wait, what the fuck do people write into blogs/phlogs?"

Stuff from their day? I'm not sure. Maybe. I keep my online identity as separate from my IRL one as possible, but I do have an essential job, and wild shit happens at work b/c I work retail to help pay for college, so there is always a fun story about a customer. Maybe I could post the week's work stories without doxing myself.

Political rants? As I sit here looking at this VPS I paid for while drunk last night, the string "commie.space" echoes through my mind, and I wonder what my politics could be. But political rants are designed for blogspots and wordpresses. Or maybe it's the other way around. In any case, ranting is above me. But an idea runs through my head: what if I make a blogpost every day (week?) about the left twitter dIsCoUrSe of the day (week?) and write up a hot take about it? That could generate some content?

Tech shit? Like what? What the hell am I talking about? I guess I could write about projects I'm working on. Am I working on anything of value??? Maybe.

Incoherent vaguely stream-of-consciousness bullshit about one's own inability to actually post to a blog? _Hard yes._