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Every President Sucked

15 Feb 2021

(Not exhaustive; based on cursory readings of parts of Wikipedia articles.)

Wikipedia articles

Washington thought it was morally acceptable to own human beings as property.

Adams signed the Alien and Sedition Acts, which were xenophobic and authoritarian.

Alien and Sedition Acts

Jefferson thought it was morally acceptable to own human beings as property.

Madison thought it was morally acceptable to own human beings as property.

Monroe thought it was morally acceptable to own human beings as property.

Quincy Adams thought partisanship could be solved by appointing his enemies to office (but aside from that he seems pretty decent).

Jackson thought it was morally acceptable to own human beings as property, and was extremely enthusiastic about Native American genocide.

Van Buren thought it was morally acceptable to own human beings as property.

Harrison thought it was morally acceptable to own human beings as property.

Tyler thought it was morally acceptable to own human beings as property.

Polk thought it was morally acceptable to own human beings as property.

Taylor thought it was morally acceptable to own human beings as property.

Fillmore signed the Compromise of 1850, which had numerous elements which propagated slavery, and wound up attached to the Know-Nothing Party.

Pierce supported the illegitimate pro-slavery government of the Kansas Territory.

Buchanan encouraged the Supreme Court's decision in *Dred Scott v Sandford* that the Constitution does not apply to Black people.

Lincoln

ran on a platform of allowing slavery to continue in the states where it already existed

reversed Frémont's emancipation order in Missouri in the early months of the Civil War

rejected the Radical Republicans' pressure to immediately and uncompromisingly abolish slavery

suppressed a Native American uprising

was generally a moderate on issues where moderation is unacceptable.

Johnson

opposed federal protections for voting rights of former slaves

undermined the work of the Freedmen's Bureau

vetoed civil rights protections

generally did everything he could to fuck up Reconstruction.

Grant

gave amnesty to former Confederates that allowed them to hold government office

signed the Comstock Act which suppressed both educational and erotic speech about sex

appointed zero Native Americans to the Board of Indian Commissioners

approved of the erasure of Native culture

started treating Native tribes as subordinate to the US instead of independent and sovereign

Hayes

sent the military in to suppress strikes

continued Grant's cultural assimilation of Native Americans

opened the door for immigration restrictions based on country of origin

Garfield

felt gross about racial political equality

fucking died lmfao get rekt

Arthur

restricted immigration in some racist & ableist ways

gave us the "public charge rule" that's used to deny immigration rights to people who might rely on welfare

strengthened federal territory polygamy bans (fuck the Mormons, but like. my polyamorous ass would prefer to have my options open)

opened up Native American reservations to settlers

Cleveland

fucked up the linear timeline of presidents

vetoed a bunch of welfare

didn't enforce civil rights protections

fucked over Chinese immigrants

approached relationship with Native Americans as guardianship, not diplomacy

sent in the military to break up a railroad strike, killing 30 people

approved of the Supreme Court's "separate but equal" decision in Plessy v Ferguson

Harrison

didn't do anything about the Wounded Knee Massacre

opened more Native American land to settlers

tried to annex Hawaii, backed a coup against the queen, recognized the illegitimate government

McKinley

didn't bother enforcing antitrust laws

didn't bother opposing Jim Crow laws

finished the annexation of Hawaii

fucked everything up after kicking Spain's ass in the Spanish-American War: * ignored the independent government in Cuba, set up a military government instead * went to war with the independent government in the Philippines, sent Taft to take over * set up military governments in Puerto Rico and Guam, left them with "unincorporated territory" status so people who live there don't have full constitutional rights

generally an imperialist dipshit

lmao Czołgosz got his ass, pour one out for a real one

Roosevelt

didn't really do much good for civil rights

more imperialism

shenanigans around the construction of the Panama Canal

more racist immigration bullshit

Taft

caved to racists demanding positions be filled with white people

more racist immigration bullshit

fuckery in Nicaragua

Wilson

lots of racism

drafting people for WW1

oppressing dissent against WW1, including fucking over Eugene V. Debs

did i mention the racism

the dude literally supported segregation

like. he told Black military members "segregation is not a humiliation but a benefit, and ought to be so regarded by you gentlemen."

constantly intervening in Latin American governments

sent troops to fuck with the Bolsheviks mid-Revolution

didn't recognize the Russian Soviet Republic

and also the racism

Harding

bullshit immigration restrictions

opposed federal unemployment benefits

opposed racial integration socially

kept Wilson's segregation

rolled back antitrust stuff

lots of corruption and scandal

Coolidge

more fuckin immigration restrictions

avoiding antitrust enforcement

proto-supply-side trickle-down tax cuts

Hoover

enforced Prohibition

fucked up response to the Great Depression

removed Black leaders from the Republican party to court racists in the South

more goddamn immigration bullshit! kicking out Mexican-American citizens! ethnic cleansing!

sent the Army in to fuck up some veterans who were protesting for prompt payment

Roosevelt

Japanese internment

immigration fuckery

not accepting Jewish refugees

Truman

nuking Japan

purged communist sympathizers

Eisenhower

CIA coups in Iran and Guatemala

pretended Castro didn't exist

mass deportations

didn't stop McCarthy

started COINTELPRO

wasn't really on board with desegregation

institutional homophobia

Kennedy

invasion of Vietnam, with all the attending war crimes and bullshit

Bay of Pigs Invasion

CIA fuckery all over the place in opposition to leftism

military alliance with a post-Suez-Crisis expansionist Israel

took a while to start proactively protecting civil rights

Johnson

expansion of Vietnam War

spying on anti-war movement

fuckery in Dominican Republic

Nixon

i mean. c'mon. he's mainly remembered for Watergate, the scandal so big we name all our other scandals after it.

opposed to forced integration

prosecuted the Chicago Seven

suppressed the Pentagon Papers

let Kissinger do heinous Kissinger shit in Cambodia

fucked over Allende, supported Pinochet's bullshit oppressive regime

didn't end the Vietnam War

Ford

pardoned Nixon

fucked over Vietnam, presumably butthurt that the US lost

kept Kissinger around

supplied Indonesia for its invasion of East Timor and fuckery therein

didn't die

Carter

opposed universal health care

continued support for oppressive regimes in Saudi Arabia, Iran, etc

sheltered the Shah of Iran from justice

fucked up the rescue mission in the Iran hostage crisis

Reagan

racism

supply-side economics

anti-communism

put Scalia on the supreme court

recovered from an assassination attempt

broke the air traffic controller strike

heightened the war on drugs

didn't take AIDS or gay rights seriously

propped up oppressive regimes in Latin America

Iran-Contra

allied with apartheid South Africa

Bush

didn't retract nomination of Clarence Thomas after Anita Hill spoke out

invaded Panama to overthrow the CIA stooge who had previously been in charge

sent Kissinger to negotiate with China

tried to make it illegal to burn the flag

pardoned the Iran-Contra people

Clinton

welfare reform (the bad kind)

deregulated banking, energy, and telecom

settled for "don't ask don't tell"

signed DOMA

extended copyright

workplace sexual misconduct

mass incarceration

Bush

lied about WMDs in Iraq

"war on terror"

Patriot Act

Abu Ghraib

Gitmo

blamed Israeli-Palestinian tension on the Palestinians

fucked up the response to Hurricane Katrina

doesn't care about black people

tried to privatize Social Security

Obama

frequent use of sanctions as warfare

let the feds do a bunch of evil shit in Ferguson etc

did not withdraw from Iraq and Afghanistan

prevented UN from calling for a Palestinian state

increased aid to Israel

didn't close Gitmo

extensive drone strikes, lots of civilian casualties, blew up a damn hospital, extrajudicially murdered a US citizen on purpose

continued supporting Saudi Arabia despite fuckin heinous shit

mass surveillance, defense of PRISM, extension of the Patriot Act

war on whistleblowers (Manning and Snowden should both have been pardoned fuckin instantly)

fucktons of deportation

Trump

bro do i even gotta list this shit

Biden, for the like month he's been in there so far

backed down from $2000 fuckin instantly

appointed a bunch of liberal centrist dipshits in his cabinet

he's a goddamn rapist

let Fauci keep his job after lying to the public about COVID

happy (slightly late) presidents' day!