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BBS has a great feature: 'mute thread'. It's a good way to keep yourself out of a discussion that triggers you. Muting individuals is the next step, but I try to avoid it as very often people have many interesting things to contribute but have a pet peeve that makes them annoying. (I am no saint here, although I belive that my personal experience of being bullied into silence is entirely relevant)
2023-08-28 · 9 months ago
@stack This is a good solution for most people, not all. As my example illustrated clearly, muting does not help you when you suffer from PTSD and you stumble upon a triggering post from a new user or a new post subject from a previously non-muted person that you follow
Sometimes I realize I need to pull back and read instead of write. Same thing happens in verbal conversations. I'm not always good at it.
My point is that even when you very strongly disagree with someone, there is often value in giving yourself time, and in attempting to understand context and their point of view. To do otherwise causes things to get heated much too quickly.
We had a situation involving multiple people on Gemini not long ago where I think a number of us, myself included, let things get too heated. It's obvious there's still some hard feelings. I pulled myself back from posting for a while. I think that did me some good.
If you're reading this and you know what I'm talking about, and you were part of it, here's an olive branch. The fact that I didn't mute you means I still think you have something valuable to say.
@aRubes, I think I understand. However there is an argument to be made that if you suffer from PTSD and are easily triggered by things people say online, being online is not a healthy way to spend your time.
Instead of petitioning the Net to accomodate the weakest link, you should perhaps find a nice quiet place with lots of therapy and massage, at least until you are ready to rejoin the sometimes unruly real world.
On the other hand, there is nothing wrong with setting up spaces with specific rules, prohibiting certain kinds of intercourse. Or asking people nicely to stay off certain topics.
The problem is that IRL you talk to a limited number of people at a time, and saying things takes very little time after which no one can hear you! So you can say stupid things, at the risk of offending no one or maybe a few people around you (if you can't read your audience)
Typing crap into a social network makes your words available to everyone who bothers to read it, kind of forever. Eventually, it is bound to annoy someone, and the drama starts. And then, someone 'discovers' it again, and the drama starts all over.
The Internet ought to interpret censorship as damage and route around it. It has not been functioning like that for a little while now. If you’re interested in big-I Internet instead of firewalled lowercase-i internets, this is not a controversial idea.
I know that I disagree with a lot of people in Geminispace, but I would never advocate for those who I disagree with to lose their hosting providers or the ability to speak their mind. Obviously a hosting provider can choose to refuse service and ban whoever they want to.
what stack said
'Instead of petitioning the Net to accomodate the weakest link, you should perhaps find a nice quiet place with lots of therapy and massage, at least until you are ready to rejoin the sometimes unruly real world.'
this is out of context find original comment
Groan.
Re: refuge for harmful ideas — I saw just saw this [gemini link] outstanding post from DaintyEco about certain spaces including Gemini, I believe, attracting certain kinds of people who we should be aware of. In particular, I find this quote reflects a lot of my online experience (of 25+ years) we should all be aware of the tolerance paradox at this point, and that tolerating specific extreme views can drive...
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