when i wanted to set my avatar-emoji here, i thought well, if there is no octopus maybe i'll use the bee, since i love bees?

then i remembered that i used bee for some time, and it was very hard time - i worked in two companies simultaneously, had almost daily/or daily calls in both, plus i taught 3 times a week, and i had to check student works, and prepare for classes myself.

that was the time i used the atari bee as my avatar.

and now i don't want those times back.

🐙 norayr

2023-07-30 · 10 months ago · ❤ 2

2 Comments ↓

🐝 Addison · 2023-07-31 at 06:44:

I hope your circumstances have improved since then. That sounds far too stressful.

🐙 norayr [OP] · 2023-07-31 at 22:05:

heh, yes, i guess. we had to buy a house, eventually.

i always lived by renting, never had hope of getting own apartment. i had this work at multinational but it didn't pay for more than some daily expences and the rent. i was always poor. i didnt search for another job since i have bad experience and i realized though they dont value me and humiliate me a bit, it is tolerable, it can be much worse.

i could buy a house in other, smaller town, but then i would not have work there and i was afraid i will be isolated even more.

so then i married, and we moved in to some apartment, since mine was extremely small. then covid happened, and the owners kicked us out because they themselves wanted to live in a bigger and better located apartment.

then we lived almost in the village, were renting, and i was able to work remotely from there. there was not internet by wire, but i managed to solve it by getting a epci card for my router and using sim card with wireless internet.

then that house was sold. so again. the move. then the hell like soviet high rise in a very poor district.

i think i moved 6 times since 2019.

so this is why i forced myself to wrk that hard, to be able to buy an own apartment. well, it is a loan for 20 years. and it was extremely hard and expensive to bring the apartment to the minimal living conditions. when i say minimal, it is really minimal - concrete floor, for instance.

so there was another job offer for which i didn't search but that time i was unable to refuse, since there was an apartment in the bilding we wanted to buy. plus teaching. one job and teaching was already crazy hard. this was, i don't know how i managed. not well, often, often ashamed that i wasn't as efficient as they expected me to be. i felt like i fool people and it is impossible and i had to not take that load and stay poor but without doubting my honesty.

then the second company closed - they only got funding for the first year and then after the war in ukraine started, and instability on markets, investors decided it is too risky. then multinational forced everyone back to office and i didn't want it for many breasons, i refused, and they fired me. not fired, asked to resign. which i did.

but now we are here, in this apartment. if i manage to pay the loan in time, we won't be kicked out. i am unemployed for a couple of months. tried to do some freelance work, but it pays not much, and i guess it is not feasible to continue like that. i'll have a class in fall semestr but it also doesn't pay much, it is not a full salary. but i am not worried though maybe i have to start already.