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> I began learning Japanese alone and soon met a guy who did too. I then met a community of learners on the forum How To Learn Any Language. Then, I met Japanese people in France. Then, Japanese people in Japan. Then, I met a Japanese girl who became my girlfriend. Then, people who helped me get a job in Japan. Then, other people who invited me to live amazing experiences like visiting hidden gems.
I've always struggled to find learners who share my passion for learning a language, and if they do, they haven't wanted to another non-native speaker in it.
At first, I thought the author of the above article must have been a very sociable person. But in another article, he talks about how he was not.
Why did I end up so linguistically alone, and he did not?
For me, I miss speaking and using a language so much. But I've no one to use it with but strangers I would pay. My girlfriend and I do use some self-taught ASL together, but that is not the same as trying to bridge the langauge gap.
I've many times since coming home from Korea felt an intense passion and desire to get back into the language. I still dream about using it. I've just as many times given it up. I've given up because:
* I was frustrated with learning a language I had no friends to speak it with. * I felt being social was a better use of my time * I felt learning coding was a better use of my time * I self-taught my way into a dev job now, so that's not valid at all anymore
But is it a less valuable use of my time than playing a video game by myself? No. Does it fulfill me on some level? Yes. Perhaps I can spend some time with Korean still and be mentally healthier for it? I can't expect it to fulfill me socially. Unfortunately, I think I've had this same epiphany before, and I've still given it up in frustration. But I am filled with shaking passion when I think in the language. I miss it. It's like part of me died when i gave it up. The connections between significant portions of my brain withered. Maybe I will rengage and be better for good this time?
2023-10-24 · 7 months ago
Group language courses are definitely the way to go if you want to learn a language and be social at the same time. I've been taking some intensive (4 days a week) language courses for the last 6 months, and I've made some great friends in my classes who are in a similar life situation as I am (that's why they're taking the classes).
Of course, it may be difficult to find in-person language classes for your language of choice. Maybe there's some sort of online group language course that you could sign up for? It's not exactly the same, but it would be *something*. Or maybe just spend some time talking to people on Korean forums? That might be stimulating.
I've been learning a second language for a couple of years. My initial step was to attend an intensive language school, which was extremely helpful but did not land me with a bunch of second-language-speaking friends (though plenty of English speaking ones). Later I found a language exchange partner via one of the many websites meant for that sort of thing, and that has grown into a real friendship.
So that would be my recommendation to you, though I also wouldn't be so down on paying someone to speak with you. My wife uses italki and has become friends with her tutor, and I know others who do English teaching on similar services who say the same.
Thank you, mediocregopher and Ruby_Witch for the kind words and encouragement!
I think part of my problem is, for a long time, I conflated pursuing a language with working towards getting my social needs met. But that's never been the case for me.
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